


Distance is just a measure

by Kyki



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom
Genre: BBC, Benedict Cumberbatch - Freeform, Cellist, Classical Music, Engagement, F/M, Foreign Language, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Germany, Love, Nervousness, Wedding, Weddings, married
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-17 13:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 37,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2311901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyki/pseuds/Kyki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben returns to Germany to meet a with an old friend named Daniel Brühl and is quite smitten by a very good friend of his. Let's see where this takes him. From mad German language skills to a love that overcomes any distance.</p><p>Note: The idea to this story has been in my head for a while: Ben falling for a foreign girl whose native language is not English and the story evolves around falling heads kver heals over someone and dealing with cultural differences and language barriers. In my head the story is pretty much finished, I just need to find the time to bring it to papers. So please bear with me. The name of the female lead character is completely made up. For the convenience of my own mad German skills I chose the female lead to be German and conveniently Ben has been working with a few German actors before so I chose my most favourite of the lot which is Daniel Brühl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I wasn’t the biggest fan of Classical Music. I went to the proms when my mother took me. Every so often I would even be spotted at the Royal Opera House. Classical Music certainly is enjoyable but to me enjoyable was having it running in the background at home or while driving – not sitting in an uncomfortable chair for 3 to 5 hours. So I couldn’t actually believe that my friend Daniel Brühl decided to drag me to a Classical Concert in Berlin when we decided to meet up again a year after the film we were both taking part in.

  
“Seriously, mate! Why am I here?” I asked Daniel.

  
“Dude, c’mon. One of my best friends is playing here tonight and she gave me two spare tickets.”

  
“Ok, that answers why you are here … again … why am I here, though!”

  
“C’mon, it’s going to be fun!”

  
“Want to bet?” I asked sarcastically. He clapped me on the shoulder laughing while he opened the entrance door and bowed mockingly to sign me to move insight.

  
You had to leave it to Daniel to once again be surprising. I still don’t like Classical Music but I was absolutely gobsmacked by this cellist. As she walked up to her seat right in front of the orchestra she showed an amazing charisma and then she started playing one of Elgar’s cello solo I was delighted. Her passion for her art, she sent amazing vibes across the entire audience and it gave me goose bumps. To say it boldly, it was amazing. Certainly the audience thought the same. Germans certainly knew how to appreciate their artists. She received standing ovations for several minutes. According to the concert program I checked afterwards, her name was Anika Pfeiffer and I needed to find out how to get to meet her. I wish I had such passion on stage as she displayed right there in front of the audience. I shook off the thought laughingly of her becoming my muse.

“What?” Daniel laughed at me. He must have spotted something was on my mind.

“Nothing!” I said and shook my head still laughing silently. Daniel pulled his phone out and switched it back on.

“Ah, excellent! Anika is just clearing up and will be ready to leave here in half an hour. She wants to meet for a couple of drinks … I hope you are ok with that!”

“Yeah sure!” I replied absentmindedly and suddenly it just hit home what he said and my head shot up. “Anika? Your friend is Anika?”

“Yes Ben!”

“Anika Pfeiffer?”

“YEEEES! … Dude where were you when I pointed her out when she walked on stage?” I knew the answer but of course would not tell him. The moment she walked on she had captured me. So everything around me may have just been a blur. I grinned at him.

“What?”

“Nothing!”

So eventually we made our way outside the concert hall and made our way to the stage door. It didn’t take long and a beautiful woman came outside and rushed towards Daniel hugging him talking to him in German – I had no idea what she said but it sounded beautiful – they could have been talking about the weather, I would not have cared. She suddenly noticed me standing next to Daniel. Daniel – for my convenience – cut back to English.

“May I introduce you? Benedict Cumberbatch meet Anika Pfeiffer … Anika Pfeiffer meet Benedict Cumberbatch.”

“Hi, it’s lovely to meet you.” She smiled at me and reached out her hand. I reached out my hand to hers and held it probably longer than I should.

“Nice to meet you too. You were wonderful tonight.”

“Says the person who was whining that he didn’t want to be here in the first place.” I shot him a glare that was aimed to kill him. Daniel only threw a wide grin back at me.

“Let’s go boys, I’m freezing and I need a drink.” Daniel and I both offered our arms so she could hook hers into them and we were on our way.

We eventually ended up in a nice quiet bar. I ended up sitting next to Anika.

“Well Anika, you haven’t converted me tonight to Classical Music but I am certainly a little more fond of it than I was before.” I said offering a toast to the group. I smiled at her.

Suddenly she looked at me and then she suddenly frowned, tilting her head slightly. Suddenly she shot Daniel a look.

“THE Benedict Cumberbatch?” She looked back at me. I couldn’t help but grin. If Daniel visited her concerts, she would most certainly have watched his movies. She looked at me.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t recognise you right away.” I laughed.

“Oh don’t you worry. I am glad that every so often I don’t get recognised right away.”

“And in my defence, the one time I’ve seen you on screen you had insanely white hair.” She reached out her hand and stroked through my curls briefly which sent enjoyable electric shocks down my spine. “I like these much more!” She grinned referring to my curls, I assumed. The moment she said it I could tell she regretted what she just did – I didn’t. “I’m sorry that was awfully bold of me!” I smiled at her doing my best to assure here this was fine.

“Daniel Cesar Martin Brühl Gonzales Domingo!” Daniel suddenly exclaimed, sounding a little bored.

“What?” Anika and I responded in unison.

“That’s my full name, in case you are ever looking for baby names.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the Sherlock reference.

“That’s not funny Daniel.” Anika looked at him in shock but did blush a lot.

“Don’t worry, he’s just being a geek right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know he enjoys ‘Sherlock’ and …”

“Sherlock?” She interrupted me and looked at me confused.

“Oh for god’s sakes woman!” Daniel exclaimed with a mocked outrage. “Have you still not seen the show?” He laughed. “Well, it’s good to see that my Christmas present is in good hands.”

“Ooooh!” Suddenly something clicked. “I see! That BBC show?”

“Yep!” Daniel replied.

“So you are a big fan too?” She asked me. I couldn’t help but giggle. She really had no idea who I really was and I liked that. In fact there was a lot I liked about her and I certainly would have to pick up the courage to give her my contact details later.


	2. Chapter 2

I had not been able to pick up the courage to give Anika my contact details during my stay in Berlin. She did spend a few days with Daniel and me while I was there and I grew quite fond of her.

However, months had gone down the line and the longer time went on, the more I regretted that I hadn’t been able to do so. She was an incredibly intelligent, well spoken, talented and funny woman and I wanted to get to know her better. I did however fear that I had missed my chance and that made me feel miserable. So miserable, even friends and my parents noticed.

I told myself that I just had to get over that. It was during an evening I spent dinner at Martin’s and Amanda’s place who finally had enough and wanted to find out what was going on. Eventually, I opened up about my misery.

“Ben, you really are a little thick sometimes when it comes to the ladies, aren’t you?” Amanda asked me. I could only shrug my shoulders.

“Mate, if she’s the one … and believe me … the way you talk about her … she is the one. You have got to fight for her.” Martin added.

“How? We are in two countries. This would never … wait … what are you saying? I never said that she’s the one. I just want to …”

“… get to know the girl you find intelligent, well spoken, talented and funny … the one that makes you blush when you talk about her … and I hate to say it … makes your eyes sparkle.” Martin jumped in interrupting me. Amanda and I couldn’t help but laugh about the last remark.

“Martin’s right though!” Amanda added. She put her hand on mine. “You have absolutely nothing to lose. But stop being such a grumpy old fart over issues you think you can do nothing about when you know very well that that’s not true. Welcome to the 21st Century Ben. There are things such as the internet and flights that can get you to Germany within less than 2 hours.” She added.

“I don’t know … really … I …”

“… Oh my god Ben!” Amanda sighed. “If you don’t go there very soon and talk to her, I will kick your arse all the way over to Germany.” I had to laugh. “I’m quite serious Ben.”

Well that was a productive talk I thought laughing as I left their place to go home later that night.

When I got home I turned on my laptop and did the probably creepiest thing I have ever done. I went to Google and searched for her name and surprisingly found that she had a website. A gorgeous professional shot of her playing the cello grazed the front page that made my heart melt.

The site was both in English and German so I switched the language and found what I was looking for: EVENTS. Most dates had already passed but there was one that caught my interest as it matched a week that I certainly wasn’t working at all. She would be a guest in what I think was her hometown. She had told me that during her studies she did an internship there and when she was finished with her studies she immediately was offered a two year contract with the local opera house. Thank god, I found that site was bilingual as well and pretty quickly managed to book a ticket. My heart was racing all of a sudden. All I needed now was a flight and a hotel room. I hated doing this stuff but today this went quite smoothly. Which did surprise me but I guess when there is a certain level of motivation, things can move along and get done a lot quicker.

The next few weeks were dragging on and on and on and couldn’t go by fast enough. I thought the day would never come but eventually, I did board the plane to Leipzig and made the one hour train ride to her hometown. The city certainly had its charm even though Anika didn’t think so. To her it was just an ordinary city with nothing much to offer. Arriving at the train station I had no idea where to go from here. Arriving, I got myself into a cab and was glad the driver spoke English. I didn’t quite get why he was laughing when I gave him name of the hotel. Soon I understood why he was laughing. All he had to turn left and then left again and he told me, we were there. I couldn’t help but laugh myself. He didn’t bother charging me for the quick ride.

“Are you sure? I asked him!”

“Sure but do you mind giving me your autograph?” I couldn’t help but smile. It felt weird being recognised over here. “I’m a big Sherlock fan!”

“Are you?” He nodded and handed me a notebook. I felt bad I had nothing to sign and give to him but he seemed grateful. I got out and and he helped me to get my suitcase out of the boot.

“Thank you!” He said holding up the notebook and waved.

“No, thank you!” I said and turned around walking through the entrance. Within minutes I was checked into my room. When asking where the opera house was, I got a bit of a laugh from the receptionist and she told me just to look out the window when I get to my room. As soon as I got to the room I understood. I knew the hotel was close to the opera house but I didn’t realise how close it was. I had a nice view of the front of the building I had checked out online.

I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of meeting Anika again. I had no idea how I was going to pull this off considering that she had no idea I was here. Thinking about it twice I now realised that what I was doing may look creepy to some people but Amanda had already warned me not to chicken out last minute otherwise I would never hear the end of it from her and I was sure I never would.

I still had a few hours before the event was to start, so I checked out the city and found a good shops to tick a few items of the Christmas shopping list. This was a first in years, I always left it to the last minute to get this done. On my way I walked past a flower shop and had an idea. I think I never spent that much money on flowers but it was worth it. I returned to the hotel, still another two hours to go, dropped of the shopping bags and went back downstairs with the flowers. I walked to the opera house and found the artist’s entrance and hoping it was open I pulled the door – it was. I someone sitting at a receptionist’s desk. Now I was getting nervous.

“Kann ich helfen?” Oh no. Please speak English, please speak English, I thought.

“Entschuldigen Sie, sprechen Sie Englisch??” I asked shyly this was as much German as I could master. He nodded. I walked out to him.

“I wonder whether someone could deliver these to Anika Pfeiffer.”

“And who are they from?”

“The details are on the card!” I pointed to the little card sticking out of the flowers that wished her good luck tonight and had my mobile number on it.

“Do you want me to call her?”

“NO!” That wasn’t supposed to come out like that. The idea of not being put on the spot meeting her right now scared me senseless. All of a sudden, I was ready to pull out of this insane idea and never to come back here. As if on queue, my phone buzzed. “One sec!” I told him and read the text I received.

“We hope you are not getting cold feet. Don’t you dare chicken out right now. A+M x”

Dear God those two knew me too well.

“So do you want to give those to her or not?” The guy asked being a little annoyed now. I looked up from the phone. It’s all or nothing now.

“Alright then.” I said and handed them over.

I didn’t hear from her and my heart sank a little. I walked into the opera house 30 minutes before the event started. The inside of the building looked even more beautiful than the outside. I first walked to the box office. I handed over my booking confirmation.

“Mr Cumberbatch it is an honour to welcome you here and we hope you enjoy this evening.” Said the guy running the box office and handed me my ticket. I could hear a few nervous giggles behind me. Oh god, I guess I was better known over here than I thought I was. I would really have to make sure I am keeping a low profile tonight.

The concert was brilliant and I was glad I didn’t get to miss it. Anika may have converted me after all to Classical Music. I had totally forgotten for a moment that she had not replied and during the concert the thought crept up in my mind that I would have to give up all hopes I would get to meet her tonight or maybe ever. I decided to get my coat from the cloak room and slowly to get moving back to the hotel, sulking later in my room. It was however a great evening and there was no regret. I got my coat looked around once more and switched on my phone as I put on my cloak. I made my way out of the building. I was half way across the square in front of the opera house when my phone was buzzing. I checked the text.

“Wow, you are in a hurry to leave. Was it that bad? :)”

It was a German number and my heart jumped. Oh my god. What was I supposed to do now? I had just settled on the idea that I would return to the UK without getting a chance to talk to her. I had to take several calming breaths before being remotely able to reply. My hands were shaking. A soft touch on my shoulder made me jump. I turned around and was suddenly facing her. I was lost for words, I could barely breathe, I was that nervous.

“Hi!” Was all she said. I smiled in return. I noticed that she was only wearing her performance gown and considering the weather she must have been quite cold even being out here for such a short time.

“Wow, you must be freezing.” Without thinking straight, I took off my coat and put it over her shoulders.

“Quite the gentleman, aren’t you?” She smiled thankfully. I still quite didn’t know what to say now that she was standing in front of me.

“A few friends and I will go out for a few drinks afterwards. Do you want to join us?” Absolutely not my brain wanted to answer, all I wanted is a chat with her alone once I found my words again.

“Sure! Why not?”

“Ok then, I still need to clear out my changing room and …” She looked down on her outfit and laughed “… get changed.” In my opinion she could stay in that forever, it suited her beautifully. “See you in about half an hour at the artist’s entrance?” I nodded. “Are you sure you can find it?” She giggled. I smiled.

“See you there then.” We walked back to the entrance and at the door she returned the coat to me. “Thank you!” She said.

With a spring in my step I walked to the back of the opera house to wait at the artist’s door. It really was freezing. In fact I nearly slipped on a bit of black ice in front of the employer’s parking lot. I know there was still plenty of time until she would come out but it gave me enough time and breaths of fresh are to try to contain myself and stay calm. I was standing towards the side of the building with the back entrance still in sight. I could see a few people starting to pile up on the inside of the back entrance probably trying to avoid the freezing cold. Some dared to come outside to have a cigarette. Oh god how much I would love one right now but I was currently attempting to quit again. One of a million to be failing attempts. I laughed at that thought. I stood close enough to overhear the conversations. The three people standing outside were talking English with a mixture of accents.

“Have you seen the size of the bouquet Anika received?”

“Oh yes, I was there. Her face was priceless when she read whom they were from. I haven’t seen her blush like that before.”

“C’mon Luise, you are her sister. She surely told you who they were from.” Oh yes, that was right she told me her sister was working here too. She was a dancer who just graduated from ballet academy in Dresden and has been invited to work here for at least a year. I smiled at the sight of her graceful movements. Even in the dark I could make out that they were siblings. They looked incredibly alike.

“I have no idea. She wouldn’t tell me.”

“Ah there she is.” They said looking through the class door. Wow that was quick. “I’m sure we can tickle it out of her tonight once we get her drunk enough.”

“Hey!” Her sister protested. Oh dear god, I was doomed. Surely they would know soon who sent the flowers. I waited for them go back insight and slowly made my way closer to the back door when suddenly everyone started filing outside the door. Anika spotted my. There was a little delivery driveway just in front of the backdoor and I didn’t see what was coming but I could hear it. Screaching tires and suddenly a bright car lights right in front of me.

“BEEEEEEN!” Was the last thing I heard before I felt a huge blow against my body and everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the reasurring comments so far. I wasn't so sure whether I was pushing it a little with this story.

A stabbing pain in my side started bringing me back to my senses.

“Ben?” A familiar voice was calling for me. It seemed like a voice from miles away calling me. Everything was pitch dark. I felt a soft touch in my forehead and another on my hand.

“Ben, can you hear us?” Another familiar voice. The more I started coming back to my senses, the more excruciating the pain was becoming. It was seriously confusing an worrying. I was becoming more aware of my surroundings and started hearing a peeping in the background that moved from a slow pace to a more erratic speed. I could hear someone talk I didn’t know.

“Ben, we need you to stay calm. If you can hear me, please press my hand.” That’s what that touch on my hand was and I grabbed it tighly. “Very good.” I could hear someone sobbing.

“He’s coming back!” It was my mother. What on earth was going on?

“Ben, son! Please wake up!” My dad. I was now starting to fight the drowsiness that was fighting me and grabbed the hand that I held on to even tighter. The pain was unbearable now and I needed to do something about it. It took a few more seconds and I opened my eyes and regretted it. I could see someone in a white uniform jump to the window and I heard curtains shut. This most definitely helped. I looked up into the faces of my parents that where right over my head. My god, how long had they not slept? They looked awful. Suddenly two strange faces were in my few one that was clearly a doctor and suddenly it sank in. I was in hospital and the moment it did sink in, I was starting to panic. Suddenly I noticed the pain in my throat. I grabbed my neck.

“I know it hurts.” The doctor said with a strong German accent. “When you started showing signs of coming back to consciousness we removed the breathing pipe.” I nodded confused. It must have been quite serious if I needed help breathing and tears made their ways up to my eyes.

“It’s ok!” My mother assured me. “You will get better soon!” I tried to talk but it hurt too much.

“Try not to talk and rest your voice for at least another day. Tomorrow this will feel much better.” I nodded.

“Are you in pain?” The doctor asked, I nodded. The nurse came to my side and showed me a morphine tab and explained how it worked.

“Don’t try to be brave. If you are in pain, please use it.” The nurse asked me. I nodded.

It took another day to really start coming around. Soon after I woke up, I fell back asleep and only kept waking from the pain. The next time I awoke my hospital bed was being moved down a hallway. I was sore all over my body and I needed answers. What the hell happened? And where the hell was I?

“What’s going on?” I managed say with a croaky voice. One of the nurses pushing the bed told me in a broken English that I was now well enough to be moved from intensive care to the normal ward. I tried to sit up and they suddenly stopped the bed and gently pushed me back.

“Try to stay lying down for now. You will have another assessment of your situation in about an hour. But for now we need you to continue lying.”

My parents didn’t get a chance to talk to me yesterday and now I was getting really annoyed that everyone knew what was going on but me.

“What happened?” I asked the nurses.

“We better let your doctor tell you later.” They pushed my bed a few more metres and started turning it and moved it into a bright room that reminded barely of a hospital room. It was painted in warm colours and by god the view was beautiful. This lightened my mood right away.

“Wow!” Was all I could say as the nurses moved my bed towards the window of this single room. I could get an even better view. They put the brakes on and hung the drips that were currently lying next to me on my bed back on a stand standing next to the bed.

“Yes, it’s beautiful, isn’t it?” One of the nurses said. “You’ve got to thank you fiancé to thank for that. She was fighting hard to get you relocated from the other hospital to this one. You will like it in here.”

“I would rather not want to be here in the first place.” The nurse smiled understandingly.

“I know.” She adjusted the head of the bead so I was now sitting up better. “Just press the buzzer if you need anything.” I nodded.

“Thank you!” I told them both and they left. Suddenly it sank in what one of the nurses just said a moment ago. Fiancé? What on earth was going on here? They had already left the room and I didn’t was to bother them again for now. Surely this was just a misunderstanding.

I turned my head to the window. The hospital was quite close to a forest and the view was breathtaking. The hospital was surrounded by a nice park and I could see patients taking a walk. I wished hospitals in the UK were like that. After a short while there was a knock on the door and my parents walked in the room.” They now looked like they did get a little more sleep last night. My mother rushed to the bed and hugged me.

“You look much better today, dear!” She said while stroking through my hair. I nodded.

“I feel better. Just quite sore still.” My dad came to my side and hugged me too.

“You had us quite scared!” I could only imagine.

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember?” I shook my head.

“Well according to Anika, you …”

“Anika.” I repeated. Her name was music in my ears. I smiled and slowly memories started coming back.

“I was waiting outside the opera house and all I remember next is a car and …” I shit, I started feeling sick at the thought of what could have happened and tears started welling up in my eyes. My mother grabbed my hand reassuringly.

“It’s ok!” 

“Anika moved hell and earth to find your relatives and get them here.” My dad tried to lighten up the mood. “When you were first moved to the other hospital she kicked off quite a fuzz apparently to get you moved to this place.”

“Why?” I asked confused. My parents looked at each other but I could tell they were hesitant.

“All that matters is that you are well and safe now.” My mother smiled at me. I didn’t have the energy to find out what exactly happened. I was sure they would eventually tell me.

“So where is she?” I asked.

“She had to go back to Berlin but she gives you her regards.”

“Until we got here, she hasn’t left your side until she was sure a relative of yours got here.” I nodded thankfully. Suddenly it sank in that I still had not talked to her.

I had later that day found out about the extent of my injuries. Nothing broken but CPR had to be carried out right away after I was hit, I had to have stitches on the back of my head and I had a ruptured spleen which meant I needed emergency surgery which was carried on the same night of the accident. I had been out cold for almost 48 hours. After another assessment and later in the day a test to ensure that I was capable of walking (even though very shakily) I was given the news that once the stitches came out and another assessment, I should be fit enough to return to the UK for treatment to continue there.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ben, we need to talk." My dad started shortly after they got here on the third day of my stay here sounding a little worried.

"Ok!?

"Karon called earlier."

"Oh this can't be good." I responded. She normally didn't bother me when I needed a time off and right now this was a time off well needed and she was made aware of my current situation.

"We didn't tell you the whole story how you got trabsferred to this hospital." 

"Well Anika got that sorted, didn't she?" Allthough I still didn't understand why she insisted I was transferred. This all apparently happened the moment I got info A&E and an assessment had been made.

"Yes, the problem is that without a family member here and you being unconscious, you were very much at the doctor's mercy. So to ensure that you get moved she pulled the only card she had available until we got here."

"And?"

"She told them she is your fiancé." My dad told me. Woah, I had to let that sink in for a moment. But she could have done worst. I was at this lovely place to recover and that's all that mattered.

"Oh so that comment one of the nurses made wasn't a misunderstanding."

"When she told us we weren't particularily concerned and assured her it could be worse."

"So what's the problem? Why did Karon call?"

"Somehow the media got wind of you supposedly being engaged and they are going nuts over there." My mother answered that one.

"WHAT!?!?!" I knew what the press was like in the UK. They wouldn't let this go at all. The next few months would be hell and I hated when stuff like this took over my life. My mind went wild over speculations why the hell she told doctors something like that in the first place. 

Even after my parents had left I couldn't let this go. They assured me that Anika has done it only with my well-being in mind. But the more I had time to think about this, the more I doubted that. The more I thought about this and unfortutely I had too much time on my hands here to mull things over, the more doubts about her and her so called good intentions. Was she the one that went to the press. More and more I was settling on that idea. I was getting starting to get furious about the fact that she put me in this situation.

It was the next day that I got my chance for answers. After a knock on the door, Anika walked in with flowers and a huge helium balloon in the shape of a minion. Any other day this would have cheered me up but not right now and not coming from her. She sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Sorry, it took me so long to pay you a visit. I was so glad to hear you are getting better."

"I'm sure you are!" I said in an ice cold rude tone of voice.

"You ok?" She asked, confused.

"That was quite a media stunt you pulled off there!"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm certain you know very well what I mean!" I said coldly and I could see it hurt her.

"Ben. Will you please tell me what's going on?"

"The last time I checked, I was not engaged and ..."

"Oh my god! Yes, I pulled of this little white lie so ..."

"Little?" I snapped at her. She looked at me shocked. "How come the press knows?"

"What!?!" 

"Oh come on! Don't act so surprised."

"What do you ... you can't seriously ... Oh my god ... you think it was me?" 

"I'm certain of that. How else would they ..."

"Ben." She interrupted me and put her hand on mine. I pulled away. "You have got to believe me. Nothing of this left the hospital. I only did this because I was concerned for you in that other hospital."

"Why?" She shrugged her shoulders. "Well you better tell me."

"Excuse me but I don't have to tell you anything!" She all of a sudden got extremely defensive. "I had my reasons and that's all you need to know. There is nothing I can do to convince you that I didn't go to the press. You just have to tust me on this one." She got up and I saw tears welling up in her eyes.

"How can I trust you when you won't even tell me why you told them that you are my fiancé just to have me moved. Just bloody tell me." She just shook her head. That was my confirmation that she was behind all this. What could have stopped her from telling me what was really going on?

"Who the hell do you think you are?" She was fuming now. 

"I'm the idiot that has to pick up your mess with the media when I'm out of here." She was clearly hurt but right now in the state I was in, I couldn't care less. She stepped away from my bed.

"I guess we are done here." She said, tears now running down her cheeks. 

"I guess we are!" She shut her eyes, took a deep breath and turned around but not before saying something in German which I was certain was something incredibly rude. She shut the door and that was hopefully the mast time I saw her.


	5. Chapter 5

So as my doctors promised, I was allowed to leave a day after my stitches came out and was considered healthy and well enough to fly home.

I was quite glad my parents insisted, I stayed with them while I recovered. This gave me the chance to hide from the media a little longer. They did wonder though that Anika never showed up again and I surely wasn't going to tell them why.

I was still furious but also upset that i have misread her so badly. I was slowly coming to the realisation that I had fallen for her and now this. 

Pick up the mess and carry on, I kept telling myself but it really wasn't working. The first day back, I was due an assessment at the hospital and they were happy for me to continue seeing my GP for the duration of my recovery and he surely was keen to see me a few days after I was back.

"So Ben, I must say. You are one lucky bastard." He was currently reading the report from the doctors in Germany. I loved that guy. He was always quite bold and straight with his answers.

"I know!"

"Whoever it was that got you transferred made a wise choice."

"What?"

"These doctors are quite full of praise about the CPR you received on scene by a lady called Miss Pfeiffer and ..."

"Oh."

"Upon arrival however there was a misunderstanding about your condition. It isn't quite clear how Mrs. Pfeiffer got you transferred but the doctor at the new hospital continues on in here that the initial misdiagnosis given could have been fatal." I was starting to feel sick. What the hell was going on here. He looked up at me as I still stared at him. "You didn't know any of this?" I could only shake my head.

Eventually, I left the doctor's office in a daze. They had called me a cab and it was ready for me.

Half way home I got a text:

"How are you? Hope recovery is going well. Martin"

"Could be better." I replied.

"Want to talk?"

"When?"

"I got a free house. Looks like Amanda made a new friend yesterday at a benefit event (someone who will join the BBC Orchestra this summer) and these girls are getting on like a house on fire so are currently out house hunting. It's quite scary actually. So how about now? The kids are out too. Are you home?"

"Nope, in a cab!" But I can be at yours in about half an hour."

"Ok. See you then." I gave the driver the new address and he grinned widely. I must have been his most profitable customer today. I called my parents up to make sure they didn't get worried.

Eventually over a cup of tea, I told Martin my dilemna. 

"Well mate! Looks like you royally fucked this one up."

"Well there is still that little detail of the engagement thing."

"Seriously! Do you honestly think that it was her?"

"Yes I do!" 

"Bullshit! I don't believe that and you have got to set things straight with her." I shook my head and he gave me a stern look. "The least you need to do is to thank her. She bloody saved your live. In case this has slipped your mind." He let out a sigh of agony. "By the way. We never asked for that. What's her name?"

The look on his face when I told him her name was seriously concerning.

"Please tell me you are not serious."

"Why?" God no, did he know her?

"What did you do?" Martin looked furious right now. Suddenly there was a key in the door.

"I'm home!" I hear Amanda shout from the hall. She walked into the kitchen and as she saw me she rushed over to me and pulled me into a crushing hug. "We were really worried about you. How are you?"

"Getting better!" I smiled at her.

Martin didn't mention any of this to Amanda but later that evening he gave me a lift back to my parents house. He started this topic again shortly into our journey.

"You should be aware that Amanda's new friend is Anika." I couldn't say anything to that. I was in shock. Why did she crael her way back into my life like that? "You better set the record straight with her becaue I have met her and not once do I believe that she would have done it. She is full of care and love for others and never, really never would she pull off of what you accused her off."

"You can't know that."

"No? How about Amanda? She rarely trusts new people that quickly and they got on from the moment they met each other. Amanda really isn't like that normally." I didn't know what to beliefe but it all came crashing down on me while we were still on our way on the car. My phone rang - it was Karon.

"Hi Karon!"

"Hi Ben. How are you?"

"Ok, I guess."

"Ok. Actually I just wanted to call you to let you know that I have done a little digging and I found out what kicked off the engagement rumours." Oh here we go. "It was a German post on Facebook that went viral about this."

"And who was it?" 

"Someone who turns out to be a nurse at the first hospital you stayed at."

"Ok. Thanks for letting me know." I hung up and was at the brink of tears. This couldn't be happening right now.

"You ok?" Martin asked me. I shook my head. At the next opportunity he stopped the car. "Ben, what's going on?"

"Karon just confirmed that it wasn't Anika that went to the press."

"Well thank god you finally got that!" He exclaimed.

"What do I do now? She must hate me."

"I'm sure she does. You've been behaving like a rotten arsehole to her and if she hates you, I don't blame her."

"Not helping, Martin." 

"Look, if you care for her and I know you do. You've got to fight to win her back. Now I warn you. She is quite feisty and she doesn't take any shit so this won't be easy but for your sake and hers, get your act together and do something about this."


	6. Chapter 6

Several months had gone down the line and spring was trying hard to cheer me up and the good weather certainly did help to lift my mood a little. However my phone calls, voicemails and text messages that were left unanswered didn’t. There was nothing I could do. Amanda had eventually found out from me what had happened. She was furious but understood that I wanted to put things right with Anika. She made however clear that she would not be talking to me anymore, if she were in Anika’s position and I understood that. She however was my good friend and promised to help were she could. 

However, right now Anika according to her was still touring and would afterwards be busy relocating to the UK. I found out that while house hunting a few more times with Amanda, Anika had fallen in love with Hampstead and was currently looking for flats there. The thought that the loved the area that I lived in and loved made me smile.

It was in mid May when I was called to the BBC studios. I was referred to one of the producer’s offices.

“Ben come in!” I sat down with the guy. I remember having worked with him before. “Nice to see you again.” He didn’t take long to get straight to the point. “Ben, you remember the interview you did with James Rhodes?”

"Oh of course. That was a great session with him.”

“Well, we thought so too and want to repeat something similar more often.”

“Ok?!”

“The BBC Orchestra have signed up a few new musicians this year and we would like you to meet them before BBC Proms this year.” Oh hell no. He handed over a sheet of paper and I didn’t spot right away what I was looking for, reading through the paper. “I confirmed with Karon and we matched the dates with your quite busy schedule.” He laughed. Suddenly I spotted it. Reading her name gave me a nervous stomach ache. “So, you are up for it?” Well, why the hell not. There was nothing to lose and I would most definitely see her again – this was my chance.

“Yeah, sure!”

“Ok then!” I checked the dates and I had about 4 weeks to come up with a tackle plan. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. 

It was Amanda who contacted me a few days later about it.

“Ben, I just had a call from Anika.” Hearing her name made me nervous and I took a clearly audible breath. “She just told me that she needs to do an interview with you.”

“I know! She’s not happy, is she?”

“You can say that again. She never told me what happened between you two until today and I sort of let slip out that I know you quite well.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry, Amanda.” I was fearing now that she was about to lose Anika as well.

“No, no! Don’t worry. She is fine with me. I think I may have managed to do you a little favour.”

“What do you mean?” 

“She is willing to do the interview. After I talked her into it and the way she put it is that the two of you are professionals after all and sometimes interviewers can be arseholes and you still have to deal with them so …”

“Well, it’s a start!” I interrupted her happily. 

I had a great time doing the interviews with the other musiscians: a violinist, a harpist and a percussionist. The day came I had to do the interview with her, quicker than I wished for. I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up.

I decided not to take the tube but rather the motorbike to the concert hall where they were rehearsing and where the previous interviews had taken place. Just as I got off the bike and walked towards the door another motorbike arrived. It was a machine I was surprised a woman, the driver was clearly a woman, could handle. I watched in awe as the bike stopped next to mine and the driver started taking off her helmet and as the helmet came off, long brown hair appeared from underneath the helmet, flowing down to her shoulders. The protective suit on her looked amazing and as I starred in awe, she shook her head to get rid of the stray strands of hair in her face. I snapped myself out of it and walked into the venue where a make-up artist and the camera crew were already waiting.

“Ben! You are late!” The make-up artist told me.

“I know. Traffic was a mess and I ...” Suddenly the door burst open and someone rushed in.

“Sorry sorry sorry! This so isn’t like me. Traffic was a mess and …” Everyone present laughed. I recognised that voice.

“We know. This young man here already told us.” One of the members of the camera crew told her. I turned around. No way!!! This couldn’t be. She looked at me with a stern gaze. The motorcyclist was Anika. No way!!! Seeing her from the front in her gear – just – wow. 

“Ben to earth!” I noticed a snipping set of fingers in front of my eyes and I snapped out of it.

“We have to get ready.”

“Anika, follow me!” Another person said and she followed. My gaze followed her as she disappeared down the corridor.

“Ben you are with me.” I nodded at the make-up artist who had been here for the previous interviews to fix me up so bright and way too early every single time we did the interviews. “You ok?” She asked me.

“Yeah sure!”

I have no idea how she did it but she was amazing. She handled the interview quite professionally. No one would have been able to tell that number one we knew each other and number two that there was a huge elephant in the room which was me behaving like an utter knob head around her a few months earlier. The interview was beautifully done. She, like all the other musicians let me have a go at the treasured instrument. I did horribly of course but she shook it off with a laugh telling me that it took her ages to get rid of the scratchy squeaky noises the bow made as I moved it across the strings. But later in the interview she asked me to do something, none of the other musicians could have done with their instruments could have done with their instruments. First she asked me to touch the side of the cello as she pulled the bow across the strings in one slow move. The vibrations coming from it were amazing. She was in her element when she told me that sometimes she held sessions in Berlin with children to get them closer to classical music and to show them how amazing this instrument was, she made them lie on the floor and placed the cello on their belly. I had to laugh at the thought and suddenly, all forgotten for a moment that she hated me she had a mischievous grin on her face. 

“Lie on the floor!” She told me. I shook my head and laughed. “C’mon, you won’t believe me otherwise what I mean. The kids loved it.” So I did as I was told. “Just relax!” She placed the cello on my belly and me being worried to break her cello by letting it slip anxiously held on to its sides for dear live. I put her hand on top of my right and gently pushed it down. “Put your hands on your sides and close your eyes.” So I did and suddenly, I felt this huge vibration through my whole body before I could even hear a note emerging from the instrument.

“Woah!” I opened my eyes and looked into her’s – she was smiling 

“See?” I suddenly remembered that the two cameras were still rolling. She lifted the cello of me and reached out her hand to help me up. I sat down again next to her chair and waited for her to join me.

“Wow! That was amazing!” The rest of the interview went without a hitch.

I packed up my stuff and started walking down to the parking lot. I hadn’t mustered the courage to talk to her and considering the witnesses present, I couldn’t imagine how I would have been able to talk to her in the first place.

My phone suddenly buzzed. I checked it. It was a text from Martin.

“BBQ at our place tonight. Don’t you dare say no!” I laughed and replied that I was in. 

I put my phone in the inside pocket of my protective jacket and walked to my bike.

“Thank you!” I suddenly heard behind me. I turned around.

“No, thank you for not making a scene!” She smiled. “I probably would have slapped me in front of the cameras if I were you!”

“Well, I still want to do that but thank you for making it such a relaxed interview. I normally am quite tense and these interviewers can be right pricks sometimes. You made it quite easy for me, considering the circumstances.” I nervously scratched through my curls.

“That was an amazing technique you showed me with the cello on my belly! I think my body is still buzzing.” She laughed.

“It gets the kids every single time.” I smiled. She suddenly grabbed her mobile and was writing something. After a short while I felt a buzzing on the insight of my jacket.

“It doesn’t mean that I have forgiven you but whenever you are ready to talk, you have my new number now.” She walked to her bike and I followed her. As she got the engine started and before she put on her helmet I spoke up finally.

“How about a cup of tea?” She looked at me confused. “… or coffee, I know you Germans like coffee.” I shook my head. C’mon Cumberbatch, you can do better than that, I told myself. “I mean, right now?” She laughed.

“Sorry, I have got to go and lose my integrity by playing football against and eight year old and loose badly.” 

“You like football?”

“Like it?” She laughed. “C’mon, I am German … I love it.”

“Well, I guess you will enjoy the WorldCup this year then.” She looked at me confused. “Well, they are surely going to win it this year.”

“There is no way in hell, that they will win the WorldCup this year.”

“You want to bet?”

“I don’t bet!”

“C’mon, if they win, you have to go out for a cup of coffee with me!”

“And if I win?”

“Your pick!”

“Ok, I’m going to have to think hard about that one.” She gave me a crooked smile. She put on her helmet but put up the visor once again. “Still doesn’t mean that I have forgiven you.” She said. “See you around.” She put the visor back down and was gone shortly after. 

Well that was a hell of a progress and suddenly I felt someone had been a massive help to ensure that she was in such a relaxed state as today.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments. 
> 
> About the WorldCup: @DaughterOfTheForest - I know how that felt back in 2006 when we hosted and still managed to get kicked out in the semi finals. it hurts. Now that I started going down that route I have to finish it but to give you a head's up - no mention of the WorldCup in this chapter ;)

Later that day I followed Martin's invite and made my way to their place. It was Grace who opened the door for me.

"Uncle Ben!" She squealed and I bent down to hug her.

"Hi Darling! How are you this fine day."

"I am great." She let go of me and allowed me to come in.

"Now where are those lovely parents and that lovely brother of your’s?"

"Mommy is in the garden and daddy, Joe and auntie Anika are out playing football."

"Auntie Anika is here?" I loved how Grace still called everyone auntie and uncle who she liked. It was a privilege being called that. Not everyone was getting the honour from Grace and it was lovely to know that she liked Anika as well.

"Yes, she is sleeping in our guest room. Her flat isn't ready yet."

"Ah ok!?! That's a shame, isn't it?"

"No it's great. I can play with her all the time and she showed me how to play chopsticks on the piano." She laughed.

"The piano? I thought she played the cello?"

"Oh yes, that too but I don't like it." Suddenly she gestured me to come down to her level and so I did. "But don't tell her." she said a little worried. I held up my right hand and crossed my fingers.

"I won't. Scout's honour!" I grinned at her and she hugged me. “But, you should ask her to show you the little trick she showed me today with her cello.” I told her 

“What trick?” I smiled. 

“You are going to have to ask her yourself.”

"Ben!" Amanda suddenly stood in the hallway. Looking a little confused. "Now I know why Martin bought so much food. I had no idea you were coming." She laughed and walked over to hug me. "Grace, do you mind helping setting the table outside?" Grace nodded and looked at me. "Uncle Ben will help you in a second, I'm sure though, he would like a cup of tea first." Amanda gave me a stern look that spoke words and I nodded.

"Ok!" Grace responded and disappeared in the garden.

A few minutes later we were sitting down in the kitchen.

"So I hear that the interview went well today?"

"Yes, surprisingly. I don't know what happened but she even gave me her number."

"She told me!" Amanda smiled. "By the way, she is staying with for a while until her flat is ready."

"I know! Grace told me."

"Gosh, she doesn't shut up about it. She tells everyone. She is quite fond of her and the day Anika moved into her flat, she will be heartbroken."

"I think if you two promise Grace a sleepover at Anika's every so often, she will be fine." She leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you. I would have never considered that." She said gratefully. "That could work!" 

“So, how is Anika?” I asked. “Is she settling in well?” Amanda looked a little uncertain.

“She is struggling a little. I think knowing that she left Germany and her family behind is taking a little turn on her.” She laughed. “That’s why Martin decided to throw this BBQ. Lot’s of German sausages and German beers. He did go a little overboard. Anika made an amazing looking black forest gateau too.”

“Did she?”

“Oh yes and I will be fighting you all to make sure I’m the only one eating it.”

“Try me!” I dared her with a grin.

Suddenly there was a lot of commotion in front of the house and a key was heard in the door.

“Anika, I hate to say it but you suck at football!” Oh the cheek of that boy. Unbelievable.

“Hey, that’s not nice to say!” I called from the kitchen.

“Beeeeen!” 

“Shooooeeees!” I heard Martin call after Joe in vain. Joe had already rushed into the kitchen with his muddy trainers. Before he reached me, I gave him a stern look and with a grin he walked back into the hallway and took off his shoes. Anika looking absolutely exhausted entered the kitchen rushing for the sink to get herself a glass of water.

“Dear god, that boy nearly killed me out there.” She pushed one off her hands into her sides and squeezed her eyes shut trying to catch her breath again. Martin walked in laughing.

“Yup, he pretty much did!” She turned around and waved. “Hi everyone!” She put down the class. “I have got to go and shower.” As she walked out of the kitchen. 

“Joe, I want a rematch. Tomorrow!”

“Ok, if you want to lose again.”

“Oi!” Amanda, Martin and I shouted in unison.

“That’s not nice.” Amanda warned him. 

“Sorry!” He told Anika.

“Thank you!” She rushed up the stairs.

“Joe, go upstairs and take of those manky clothes and make sure they make their way into the laundry basket this time.” Amanda asked him. Suddenly we were alone again.

“Guys, I need to ask.”

“What?”

“Why is Anika so relaxed around me? Considering what I have done to her, I …”

“She did bring the topic up again yesterday when she was feeling down and we could clarify a lot if things. For example how exhausting it can be having to deal with the press when they know no bounderies.” Martin explained. “She did start to understand where you were coming from when you thought she went to the press.”

“But I treated her like dirt!”

“Yes, that she knows too and I think you need to clear things up with her but I think it will be a lot easier for you than you think. She is a lot more open to talk to you now.” I was quite relieved.

Eventually we got the grill going and where soon indulging on some nice German treats. Martin got out a few beers from the fridge and pointed on at me.

“No thanks. I’ve got to get home later.” I laughed.

“Rubbish!” He handed one to me. “We’ve got a nice comfy sofa in the living room. So go ahead!” I took it and opened one. This was a brand I hadn’t had before and it was quite a nice brew.

By the end of the night, I might have had a few too many of them and after we moved into the living room as it got too cold. I started falling asleep now and then. I did wake up again when I had someone combing my hair. There was an odd tension on the top of my head and as I opened my eyes, I saw Martin, Amanda and Anika in pieces. They were laughing in tears. I looked up and found Grace messing with my head. I reached up.

“Nooooo!” Grace shouted. “Leave it. You look pretty.”

“What did you guys do?” I looked at the adults.

“Nothing!?”All of them said in unison. I put my hand on the top of my head and felt scrunchies, hair ties, ribbons and clasps in my hair.

“Well, I’m definitely seeing a hairdresser tomorrow.”

“Noooo, uncle Ben. You can’t. Who can I play hair salon with otherwise?” Grace asked outraged.

“How about your dad?” 

“Noooooo, his hair isn’t so long and nice and curly.” The others laughed.

“Alright then. Continue Madam Grace.” 

“Thank you.” She answered. Eventually it was time for the kids to go to bed and Grace insisted that Anika read her a goodnight story so the two of them disappeared. While she was gone I started feeling tired again. I really had too many of those beers tonight. Soon I dozed off again.

I was driving down the road and suddenly I could hear a blow right underneath the car. The tires must have gone. Faceless people were with me in the car and we got out to start and fix the tires. There was a sudden rush of activities and the next thing I know. I’m on the ground in utter panic. I’m shaking like a leaf and I can hear a click – the loading of a gun and pressure to the back of my head. This is the end.

“Nooooooo!” I screamed.

“Ben! Shhhhhh!” I was breathing heavily and cold sweat on my forehead. “It’s ok.” It was Anika. I could feel her hand on my arm. The room was dark - there was just a little light streaming through the door from what I assumed was the kitchen opposite the living room. I took a shaking breath and sat up weakly. I hadn’t dreamt of this incident in years. I thought I got over it long ago considering this was nearly 10 years ago. My breath was shaking and embarrassment that someone caught me struggling with this nightmare brought tears to my eyes. “Hey hey hey!” She pulled me into a hug. “Ben, it’s ok. Just a bad dream!” She whispered into my ear. I shook my head and let out a sudden sob. What the hell was going on with me. I couldn’t handle her caring so much for me. I had treated her like shit and she was so kind to me. I pushed her off me gently. I really didn’t deserve her. 

“What time is it?” I tried to chance the topic.

“It’s just gone past 4 am.” I put my legs on the floor. “I couldn’t sleep so came down to make myself a tea and the door was open and you were quite restless so I checked in on you. Ben it was just a nightmare.”

“I need to go!” 

“What do you mean?” I was too embarrassed to face her any further.

“I’m going home!”

“You can’t be serious!” She asked me in shock. “Why don’t you try to lie down and sleep a few more hours. It’s Saturday after all." I shook my head. I needed to get out of here.

“I need to go!” I repeated. 

“What are you running away from?” This got me and I felt this stomach ache again that I felt for weeks after the carjacking incident. It hurt so much that I had to take a deep breath and started feeling sick. 

“Right that’s it.” She stood up and sternly looked at me. "I'll quickly throw on something warm and get the house key and we are going for a walk – you need fresh and clear your head – this is the most perfect time to do this - and don’t you dare disappear.”

“Anika, please don’t, I just need …”

“… need to be alone?” I nodded. “No way! I’ve been there and you are not staying alone right now.” I looked at her confused.

A few minutes later she reappeared. As I was still in my clothes I only had to put on my shoes and my coat. We silently left the house and shut the door quietly.

We kept walking for what seemed ages in this freezing cold. It must have been a while as the sun started working its way upwards. The sky looked beautiful. I had no idea where we were but we reached a field and started walking across it. This peace and quiet and the cold air did wonders to my well-being. Eventually, I decided that it was time to break the silence.

“Thank you!” I stopped walking and so did she. She smiled in response.

“You are welcome!”

“I’m sincerely sorry for what I did to you. It is unforgivable what I did and I don’t blame you if you don’t …”

“Ben, it’s ok. I accept your apology.” She stepped closer and pulled me into a hug. I put her arms around her.

“Thank you!” I said again. We decided to continue walking and eventually I opened up to hear about the nightmare and the events of the carjacking. I showed her the scar that was still showing on my wrists from where my hands were tied up. The scars that reminded me every single day how precious life had become to me. She hugged me again when she saw I was tearing up again when she stroked the spot where the scars were barely visible but visible enough.

“I’m sorry, I’m bothering me with my issues.”

“Ben stop it!” She demanded. “I know what it is like to go through phases of personal struggle and dealing with nightmares and …” She suddenly stopped. I could tell, she was shocked that she was just opening up to me like that and I saw deep sadness in her eyes.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” I told her I saw how she was struggling to keep it together. She shook her head.

“I think it’s time you find out why I was so desperate to get you out of this hospital.” 

“No really, you don’t …”

“… I really want to.”


	8. Chapter 8

We had made it across the field and the sun was now started to really brighten up the sky. I had no idea anymore how long we had been out there but I didn’t care. We walked towards a bench we saw in the near distance and sat down. I didn’t rush her into it. We sat there quietly for a short while when suddenly she opened up. I turned to her and looked into her eyes. She had tears in them. I pulled her into a hug. I eventually let go of her and she wiped her eyes. She took a deep breath.

“I only moved to Berlin about 3 years ago literally running away from my past and before that I had been living in my hometown pretty much my whole life.  
I never really wanted to leave. I was in a long term relationship and had gotten engaged the same year I left university to my long term boyfriend.” I could see her gaze turning darker, almost frightening for a moment.   
“And then, just over 4 years ago, we found out we were expecting a baby.” She smiled weakly. She had a child?   
“The pregnancy went well. No issues. Until one day, one of my fiancés stupid friends decided to give us a lift in his new car. He started showing off and was speeding badly.” I took in a sharp breath.   
“He ended up crashing the car and the next thing I remember is being in A&E being examined by the same doctor who did initially examine you. I kept telling him that my baby was in danger but he was convinced all was well and he needed to ensure I was well. I came first. He didn’t listen. When they eventually put me on a monitor to check on the baby. The heart rate had dropped so badly they had to operate immediately.” I felt that I was welling up. This was breaking my heart – a tear escaped my eyes.  
“I woke up to be told that he survived but with severe disabilities.” She let out a sob. “I loved my little cheeky monkey regardless and I was fighting for him to make it. I was determined that he would make it and over my determination I started losing my fiancé who as it turned out a few months our son’s life couldn’t handle the pressure and thought of bringing up a disabled child. We split and I fought the battles to come alone: my son’s health and the law-suit against the hospital. The only ones I had on my side were my close friends and my parents.” I took her hand as I saw she was struggling to continue. “And then, when we thought things were looking up and we were starting to prepare getting ready to leave the hospital. He got sick with pneumonia. He died in my arms just barely 5 months old.” She cried now and watching her in pain was unbearable. “I couldn’t handle seeing you in the hands of the same doctor who wasn’t willing to listen to me when I was desperate to save my baby.” She was shaking now. 

“What was his name?” She smiled and looked at me in tears. I really wanted to know. She took a deep breath.

“Karl Anton.” I smiled, it was a beautiful name. I could feel the love for her lost son when she said his name. There was nothing I could say right now that would be of any comfort to her. All I could do is sit closer to her and pull her into a hug. I didn’t want to let go and I felt how she started to relax and suddenly started crying and I let her. It took her quite some time to start calming down but I didn’t mind. She eventually released herself from me and looked at me.

“Thank you for listening.” She said and I smiled at her. I suddenly realised how light it had become. Dear god, how long had we been out here? “How about we head back? I’m freezing.” I nodded.   
It took us another half an hour to make our way back.

“Where on earth have you two been?” Amanda asked slightly amused when we walked back into the house. She was busying herself preparing breakfast. “Kids will be up soon so if you want to get another bit of sleep you better do it now.” She directed this at me. I shook my head. 

“I really think you should!” Anika added. “Take my bed.” You can lock the room and maybe you can get another 2 hours of sleep. I shook my head. “Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

I made myself a cup of coffee and sat out in the garden while the girls finished getting the breakfast for everyone ready. I closed my eyes and soaked up the morning sun. Suddenly a plate was placed on my lap. I looked down – a slice of marmite toast cut in triangles.

“Amanda said you like this stuff.” Anika said a little disgusted. I nodded. She laughed. “I don’t get it. How can you eat this stuff. It smells rank.”

“Have you tried?” I asked as I grabbed a piece and offered it to hear. 

“I don’t need to.” 

“Go on. You don’t know what you are missing.” She doubtfully took the piece from me and bit into it.

“Huh!” Was all she could say and she chewed. “It’s a seriously weird taste but it’s not bad actually.” I laughed. 

“Do you have this stuff in Germany?” She shook her head and grabbed another piece. “Hey!” I protested and she laughed.

I stayed for breakfast and then made my way back home. Sadly I had commitments for the day. I really did not want to leave. It was later a text from Anika that cheered me up.

“Thank you again for a great time yesterday and this morning. I really needed that. By the way, Grace is right. You do look pretty ;)”

Also, enclosed was a picture of me sleeping with loads of girl’s hair accessories in my hair. I couldn’t help but laugh.


	9. Chapter 9

The World Cup had started and I eagerly followed both Englands but most importantly Germany's matches. I had to remind Anika of our bet that she would have to go out for a cup of coffee if they won the World Cup. She refused to tell me what I would have to do if they lost but I really was convinced that Germany was going to win it and almost every match except that one long painful match against Algeria seemed to confirm my confidence.

 

Regrettably I was barely in the UK after I put things straight with Anika. We kept talking via text messages or sometimes a quick Skype call but that was it.

 

Following little breakdown that morning there was however one thought that was nagging me. Why on earth was that doctor still working at that hospital if he risked the life of a baby and in fact mine? I knew it pained Anika too much so I didn't want to talk to her about it. When I phoned my GP about it, he didn't know anything either but suggested that I seek legal advise on that matter. It took me a few more day and after a few more days and talking to my parents, I consulted a lawyer.  
It was then a week later that he told me that this case went through the local press in Anika's hometown. It had unfortunately then been revealed and that was the last news on it that the hospital offered a hefty settlement that had been offered to Anika. My lawyer told me that this wasn't surprising considering the potential severity of the disabilities of Anika's son. Medical cost would be immense and a financial backup as big as the settlement she was offered did help.  
Also having to got to know her a little better, I knew that had she been in a better state at the time she would have fought this to the bitter end. I knew she almost ran away to Berlin after son died and knew from her now that she went through a phase of depression which only Daniel whom she had known for years managed to help her out of. I don't think she knew that that doctor was allowed to continue to practise.

 

So I was going to fight that for her now. I decided to take legal action against that hospital. I clarified with him, as I would be busy over the next weeks and months that I wouldn't settle for anything less than that guy losing his licence and being forbidden to treat any further patients.

 

It was a week later that I got a call from my lawyer, I was currently in the US.

 

"Ben, good news."

 

"Ok!?"

 

"An enquiry into the doctor's capabilities as a doctor has been reopened and I allowed to tell you that until further notice this guy is suspended." I breathed a sigh if relief. 

 

"Do I need to go over there?" I asked a little concerned about my schedule that lacked free time incredibly.

 

"No no. As you were pretty much out the doctors reports of the misdiagnosis will do fine."

 

Anika had eventually gotten wind of the case as well. She wsd asked to give permission for them to reopen her files for the inquest. She was glad that I wnet legal. She told me she would not have had the strength to do it again.

 

Anika and I continued to stay in touch and she couldn't help but tease that England was out of thr World Cup and to be honest it didn't surprise me but bloody hell Germany was doing well. 

It was on the 8th July that I got a text from Daniel. I had just been back in the UK. 

"Ben, I'm in London and will be meeting Anika later. Are you in the country? How about we watch the Bazil v Germany match tonight if you are."

I gladly took that offer. Since I've been back I haven't managed to talk to her. She was busy touring the country and knew she would be back today. Daniel and I settled on a pup which I knew had a decent sized screen to watch the game on.

 

I was overly keen to see her again. The last few weeks made me miss her so much, it made my heart ache.

 

Unfortunately by the time I was supposd to leave the house I was increadibly running behind. So I was eventually running to the Pub - the match had already started. The place was packed with German supporters who where celebrating. It turned out that the current score was 1-0. I eventually found Daniel and Anika. She looked amazing in that Germany jersey she ws wearing. I walked over to them and hugged Anika briefly. Daniel looked at me a little amused. 

"Long story!" Anika and I both said in unison and laughed. He put up his hands in defeat and pulled a face.

 

"I don't want to know." We watched and the match and I had to say for a moment it looked like Germany was struggling to keep that advantage. But how wrong was I? Suddenky the noise level was at its maximum in this place when the second goal was scored by Germany. I decided to finally get myself a beer as it now seemed save enough to turn away from the screen. What happened next while I made my way to the bar was hearing the Germans in the pub getting excited and next a cheer from the entire room that made me jump. I looked at the screen: 3-0. As I waited for my pint the unbelievable happened. It must have been less then 5 minutes after the last goal the entire pub was now screaming in extasy. In fact it had only been 2 minutes later that the score was 4-0. Just as I had finally managed to make my way back through the masses of people. Daniel had a wide grin on his face.

 

"Oh c'mon. Whipe that grin off your face. The tables can still turn. This is Brazil we are talking about here and once the Germans get cocky they tend to lose. So this is not over yet."

 

"Bullshit!" Was all I said as I joined them again. "You will be playing the finals next week."

 

"Rubbish!"

 

"Oh my god no way!" Was all Daniel suddenly said and i turned around to the screen and here it was a moment later following that attack: 5-0. We both looked at Anika.

 

"I swear, Brazil can still win this!" Daniel and I laughed.

 

"Do you honestly believe that?" 

 

"Yes! It's Brazil for the love of god."

 

Halftime came and went. And Anika made a statement that probably everyone throught for the first 10 minutes of the match.

 

"Looks like Jogi Löw told them to behave in the dresser room. It feels like they are going easy on Brazil." Another short while later when it felt like Brazil didn't want to use the opportunities given Anika shouted at the screen.

 

"Alright, screw this. Germany may as well make it 10-0." She let out a loud German cheer and the whole pub joined in and within minutes they were all rewarded. Anika by this point was in shock and held her hand over her mouth. I swear I could even see tears of joy.

 

"Do you finally believe it?" Daniel asked her and hugged her.

 

"Ok ok. Yes we made the finals. Now shut up." She laughed. The rest of the game went quickly. The end score was 7-1 and unbelievably, Anika felt sorry for Brazil. 

 

"C'mon. Cheer up a little." I told her as I pulled my arm around her as we walked back to my place. We decided to get some takeaway and eat at my place. It was great rest of the night. Unfortunately Daniel had to leave again in a few days but I promised Anika that I would watch the finals with her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the last chapter: my apologies. I forgot to give a clear warning what was coming up and i may have gotten a little carried away ;)
> 
> So ahead warning. There is a little insight into this year's World Cup final but it isn't as detailed when it comes down to the match itself. And you will regret skipping this one. I am certain most of you will enjoy this one.
> 
> So go on. I dare you to read it :D

I had been looking forward to this Sunday. I hadn't had a chance to see her all week and I missed her. We had agreed that I would spend the whole day with her and show her my London. She had given me her address so I picked her up in the morning.

 

"Hi, come up!" I heard her say via the intercom after I rang her bell. She buzzed me in. "Top floor!" She added. Her apartment door was open as I reached the top floor so I walked in but she was no where in sight.

 

"Anika?"

 

"Give me one moment!" I heard her say from another room. "Have a seat for now in the living room. I'll be with you in a moment." I walked into the living room which was on my left and was amazed by the light and open space of it. It was beautifully furnished and the colours were well chosen and coordinated. I wished I had an interior designer like that. "Like it?" She made me jump. I turned around, she looked gorgeous as ever. She was wearing a lovely floral dress that reached down to her knees. 

 

"Yes. Who was you interior designer?" She looked at me confused.

 

"What do you mean? I did that all on my own. The only thing that I didn't do was the flooring and tiling in here."

 

"Wow! Really? I must invite you to my place one day. I'm planning to redecorate but have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to getting it done."

 

"Maybe I should." She smiled at me. Oh how I had missed that beautiful smile. "Ok, I'm almost done here. Just need to fix my hair and my face. I had a long night last night and look awful. Give me a few more minutes." I had no idea what she was talking about. She wasn't wearing any make-up and looked stunning regardless and her messy hair was sweet. She did return a few minutes later, all fixed up and i was glad she was the person who wore light and natural make up. The freckles on her nose could still be seen and I loved that.

 

"Ready?" I asked her. 

 

"Lets go!"

 

We were first off to some of the local markets that I loved so much and grabbed some amazing breakfast there. We then took a trip by bus to Camden Town. She had told me that she had been here when she went to London with her parents as a teenager and always wanted to come back. But since she arrived here, even though it was so close, she had not yet had a chance to pop into Camden Town. She loved it but it was getting very crowded very quickly so we moved on. I showed her some of the off the track places like museums and shops that tourists very often stayed clear off and she loved it.

Spending this day with her melted my heart. I couldn't stop looking at her all day and she did notice but oddly didn't seem to mind.

We eventually started to get hungry again and ended up in a lovely Indian restaurant. 

 

"Dear god, I'm dying." I exclaimed, fanning my face. I didn't realise that some of the dishes we ordered where so hot. 

 

"I have no idea what you are talking about." She laughed. I pushed my plate across the table.

 

"Ok then. You try this stuff." I was shocked that she actually even dared to try it. She didn't even flinch or break a sweat. "Wow, you are one tough woman. I have to say." 

We talked for ages and the more time I spent with her and kept looking at her and listen to her witty humour, the more I fell for her.

 

The day flew by so quickly. She had the great idea that we should get some cakes and soon after we ended up indulging on them sitting on the grass of the Heath in Hampstead. The weather was beautiful and we were soaking in the sun. She had by now made herself comfortable lying on the grass and her head resting on my thighs. This closeness sent shivers down my spine and so badly wanted lean down and kiss her by this point. 

This was getting more serious quicker than I was hoping for. I knew she was comfortable around me but did she share any feelings similar to the ones I had for her. We had over a short period of time become good friends and I certainly didn't want to ruin it. I watched her as she seemed to be enjoying a chocolate chip and fudge cookie. 

 

"Gosh this stuff is lovely." I smiled.

 

"I just wish they had Banoffee Pie."

 

"Oh my god yes. That stuff is great." I looked at the last cupcake in the box we bought. "You can have that. I am stuffed and if I don't stop eating soon you can roll me down this hill." We both had to laugh.

 

An hour later we walked back to her place. She wanted to get chanced and put on some more comfortable shoes. She suspected we would be standing the entire match. So I waited again again in her living room. When she was done she was wearing that amazing jersey again that fitted her figure so well. She came over to the sofa and held out a Hawaiian flower necklace with flowers in the colours of the German flag. I laughed.

"What am I supposed to do with that."

 

"Wear it! Germany will need a lot of support later and I am certain that you are very keen to win that bet once I tell you what happens if Germany loses tonight."

 

"Oh god!"

 

"Oh yes, you better be worried." She teased me. "And it helps you to blend in."

 

"I am not so sure about that last bit but ..." I grabbed it and put it around my neck. "... her you go. Tada!! How do I look."

 

"Very German. Now! Lets go otherwise we may have to give Krautsurfing a try later in the pub." I laughed out loud. That was a good one. I was by that point wondering when that rumor started that Germans have no sense of humor. It turned out that we were already too late. Half an hour to go until the match began and the place was packed but Anika enjoyed it and the good thing was that this way the odds of me getting noticed were quite small. We got ourselves a few bottles of beer the moment we got to the bar. I took in the atmosphere and it was amazing. I couldn't tell whether there were a lot of Argentina supporters present but there were certainly a lot of Germans here and they knew how to have a good time. The buzz in here was incredible. 

 

Although Anika tried to convince me that she was not as passionate about football as Daniel had told me - according to her she only loved football during the World Cup and European Cup - she certainly knew a lot of the rules. She for example knew right away that that first goal by Argentina would be disallowed due to offsite and she was right. I think never n history has an offsite been celebrated so much than on that day. Also, even though she claimed that was not a big fan, she certainly swore a lot at the screen. This was clearly not meant for my ears as she did it in German but that much German I understood. The game dragged on and she was getting more and more nervous. My bets were on extra time and penalties. By the time the match did go into overtime I couldn't help but laugh watching her. She was covering her eyes with her hands just occationally peeking. It was like she was watching a horror movie - too scary for her to watch.

 

"When this is over I will have aged by at least 10 years. In swear." She shouted over the noise in the room. The second half of the extra time had started and I spotted a gap at the bar. This was my opportunity to get some more drinks. I gestured that I would be getting some more drinks and she nodded absentmindedly starring at the screen. When I started making my way back I saw a guy my age chatting her up and she looked slightly unsure what to make of him and kept turning around into my direction but she didn't spot me, I think. I made my way through the masses of people but to me it wasn't going quick enough. That guy suddenly shook her hand pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. I couldn't stand the sight of this and was harshly elbowing my way back to her.

 

"Good luck! I'm sure you'll win!" I heard him say with a Scottish accent. He looked at me and grinned. I think he recognised me. I handed her a beer and smiled.

 

"You ok?" I asked and put my arm protectively around her. She smiled.

 

"Yeah!"

 

"Take good care of her." He told me. "You've got yourself a keeper here." He laughed.

 

"We are not ..." But he already disappeared by the time we could even finish that sentence. She looked at me and smiled.

 

"Are all British guys like that?" She asked me? 

 

"Well some but normally we are quite reserved."

 

"Good to know." I gazed into her eyes and so did she look deeply into my eyes. I could get lost in those beautiful green eyes -just gorgeous. Without thinking I leaned in - I let my heart take over my motions. I was so close to her now and she didn't move back. In fact for a fraction of a second I thought she leaned in too. 

I wanted to kiss her so badly by now but it was a sudden roaring noise that erupted among the people that pulled me back out of this beautiful dream. We looked at the screen and there it was: 1-0 for Germany with only a few minutes to spare. Anika was speechless and covered her mouth in shock. I pulled her into a bear hug.

 

"Congratulations! You did it." I told her. She shook her head.

 

"Game's not over yet." and indeed these last few minutes felt like hours and when the time was finally over and the referee wouldn't blow the whistle everyone including me got agitated.

 

"Blow that bloody whistle, you moron!" I shouted at the screen and lot of people joined in with me booing at the screen.

Eventually we were put out of our misery and the noise that suddenly erupted here was incredible. I certainly would not call myself a Germany supporter but even I got carried away and joined in the fun. 

I looked at Anika who seemed a little lost and unsure what to do now with her over excitement. There where tears of joy in her eyes. I did what she needed right now for sure and pulled her without thinking much about it into a crushing hug. What happened next took me by surprise. She freed her arms and put them around my neck. We once again gazed into each other's eyes. She leaned in to kiss my cheek and as if out of reflex I turned sideways and our lips touched ever so gently. My stomach felt like a thousand airplanes just launched inside it. What was more surprising was that she didn't pull back. In shock about my rash reaction and probably with a face as red as a ripe strawberry I pulled back and let go off her.

 

"I'm sorry!" Was all I could say when in fact I really was not sorry. She gestured me wordlessly to leave the pub and so we did moments later.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> World cup is over and now you can all enjoy reading this again ;)

We started walking in silence for quite some time and the longer we stayed silent the more I was getting nervous that I just made the worst mistake in a long time. We were actually approaching my street any moment and here was my chance.

 

"How about you honour your bet and come to my place for a cup of coffee? My place is just around the corner from here" She laughed a little.

 

"Coffee? Not such a great idea this time of night." My heart sank. So what I had done was a mistake. She looked at me and smiled. "But a cup of decaf tea or coffee will do fine." I laughed nervously.

 

"Oh I've got plenty of that stuff."

 

"Ok then! Let's go!" She hooked her arm into mine.

 

"Wow, this place is amazing!" She said when we finally sat down with our cups of tea. 

 

"You haven't seen the best part yet." 

 

"Can this place get any better?"

 

"I believe so!" I got up still carrying my mug and looked at her. "Follow me!" She got up as well and I let her to the most beautiful place on earth, well it was for me at least. I opened the curtains that I had shut during the day to keep the room cool and switched on the lights on my right that now revealed the entire roof terrace of this flat.

 

"Wow! I see you weren't lying." She smiled at me. I opened the door. I was glad it was still quite warm tonight. I looked into her mug and noticed it was running empty.

 

"Have a seat out there." I grabbed her mug but she seemed to be nervously holding on to it fpr dear life and wouldn't let go. "I'll just make another brew for you." She nodded and handed it to me. Her brief touch on my hand sent electric sparks down my hand.

 

I rushed into the kitchen and was glad I was out of sight for a moment. 

 

"Keep calm!" I told myself. "What's the worst that could happen?" I tried to reassure myself. It didn't really work. The next batch of tea was ready and I made my way to the terrace. She was leaning over the barricade and looked into the distance. I don't think she noticed me right away but the clunk the mug made when I put it on the stone barricade made her jump. Were those tears in her eyes? Oh god. What have I done. 

 

"You ok?" What a stupid question - a voice in my head told me. She nodded slighly. She looked down on the cup and took a deep breath.

 

"I need to ask." She suddenly started. "Why did you say sorry earlier?" Wow, I heard Germans where quite direct but hell that question did shock me a little. My courage was leaving me and I didn't know whether to be honest with her in the risk that I would lose her as a friend. My brain screamed at me to say something - anything but my lack of courage stopped me. 

 

Suddenly she turned around and looked down, I am certain I saw a tear running down her cheek. My brain was still screaming at me. She walked past me and nodded.

 

"I understand!" She said and her tone gave away that she was hurting. She left me standing still frozen on the terrace and walked back into the living room.

 

It took me a moment to come back to my senses and rushed after her. She was grabbing her handbag from the sofa.

 

"Please don't leave!" I begged her. She just shook her head and turned around to leave.

 

"I need to go!" She told me in a voice of desperation. 

 

"No you don't!" But she just shook her head and released her hand from mine. I was desperate to make her stay but I was incapable of even thinking of the right thing to say. She gave me a watery weak smile and turned around wiping her eyes. 

 

I was frozen on the spot as I watched her leave my flat. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I may have just lost her this time - even as a friend. It was right at that moment that that Scottish guys words sprang back to mind and he was right, she was a keeper. But most importantly, I wanted to take good care of her and it dawned on me that I wanted to take care of her for the rest of my life. I was getting angy at myself that I let this chance go by without doing anything about it. I was welling up and I felt my heart breaking and it was all my fault. 

 

It took me a few more seconds and I decided it was now or never. I rushed down the hall, shut the door behind me and ran down the stairs. As I left the house she was no where to be seen. 

 

By this point I was running to her place and indeed she had not yet made it home. I could see her in the distance.

 

"Anika!" I called after her but she kept walking. I ran even faster. As I reached her, I touched her shoulder. She stopped. She let out a loud sob and it broke my heart. I turned her around and I could tell she must have been crying all the way to where we are standing now. 

 

"I'm sorry!" She exclaimed quietly and I pulled her into a hug and I let her cry into my chest.

 

"Why are you apologising to me?" I asked her while she was still sobbing but I didn't need an answer. "I once again proved that I am an utter arsehole and I most definitely don't deserve you." Suddenly her head shot up.

 

"Ben don't say that!" 

 

"It's true. My words seem to hurt you all the time and sometimes it's my lack of words that hurt you." She started sobbing again.

 

"I am not hurting because of you." She managed to say. "I'm hurting because ..." There was a long pregnant pause while she took a deep breath. "... I have not let anyone into my live or so close to me since Karl died and somehow you helped me to open up again and I had started putting my hopes up, especially today, that there was more - that you felt the same way I did for you since the first day I met you in Berlin." She took another deep breath. "But clearly you don't and I just have to accept that." 

I was in shock about what she just told me. Did she just tell me what I thought she told me? Woah, this was big and only when she freed herself from my embrace and turned around did everything snap into place including the courage I lost earlier.

 

"Will you please stop walking away from me?" This came out more annoyed than I was hoping for but she stopped in her tracks but did not turn around. I stepped towards her again. "Please look at me." I begged her but she just shook her head. I stepped infront of her and once again pulled her into a hug.

 

"Why do you think I came all the way to see you play in your hometown?" I took a deep breath. "Anika, you have no idea about the major crush I had on you the moment I first saw you walking on stage when Daniel invited me to your concert."

 

"What?" She asked me in disbelief.

 

"And the only reason why I said sorry earlier was because I felt that kiss in the pub may have been awkward for you." She looked up and smiled at her. "Believe me, I wasn't sorry at all about whay I did, to be honest." She took a shuddering breath but smiled at me. She put her arms around my neck again and our lips almost crashed together to meet for a passionate kiss that didn't seem to want to end.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. The story continues.

I woke up by the sunlight hitting my face. That's weird, I thought. I was sure I shut the blinds last night. Suddenly I was very much aware of a of the weight on top of me. Confused, I reluctantly opened my eyes. With a slight jolt I was suddenly bright awake. I was not in my bed or in any bed, as a matter of fact. I was still on the same sofa that Anika and I had sat on all night and talked for hours. It was surprisingly comfortable. I must have fallen asleep at some point and so as it turned out did Anika. The weight was her cuddling up in my arms. I kissed the top of her head that was lying on my chest. She stirred slowly.

 

"Good morning!" I whispered softly.

 

"Hmmmmmm!" She sighed and yawned. She suddenly looked up and smiled brightly. "I think I could get used to this." she stated. I smiled in return of that statement, she wasn't alone on this one.

 

"Coffee?" She asked me.

 

"One sec!" I answered, rearranged myself slightly so I could kiss her forehead. "Thank you!" She looked at me confused. "I don't think I have slept that well in a long time." She now climbed up on me grabbed hold of the collar of my shirt and kissed me. My heart must have skipped several beats as she did.

 

"You are welcome!" She answered and left me out of breath as she got up. I soon followed her into the kitchen. I caught her getting some cups and plates out of the cupboards while checking her mobile. As she saw me come in, she laughed and showed me her phone. I had to step closer to see what if said.

 

"Hope the two of you enjoyed last night's final. As neither of you were available anymore last night, we are assuming things went well. A+M"

 

"Dear god!" Those two don't miss a thing do they?" I laughed.

 

Anika set the table and got some food out. On her way to the table she turned on the radio. As we settled down to have breakfast the two of us almost fell of our chairs at what followed next.

 

"So for those who have not paid attention last night. Germany won the World Cup in a 1-0 victory against Argentina."

 

"Wooohooo!" Anika remarked at that radio statement.

 

"We are certain a lot of German supporters, even those here in London, had the time of their lifes last night. But it appears, not only them. Also the one and only Benedict Cumberbatch has also been enjoying the the final pretty well at a local local pub in Hampstead according to some sources. He was sporting a hawaian flower necklace in German colours accompanied by what appeared to be a female German supporter. They have been quite close all evening and have been spotted kissing in celebration of Germany's victory when the match was over."

 

"Holy shit!" Was our response in unison.

 

"Whether these rumors are true is unclear. There are no pictures to confirm what will most likely turn a lot of his fans into turmoil."

 

"Well thank God for that!" I almost shouted annoyingly at the radio. Anika laughed. "It's not funny."

 

"I know but sometimes when the shit hits the fan you have to laugh otherwise you won't be able to handle what's going to hit you next." She actually had a point. Suddenly my phone rang. 

 

"Excuse me for a second." She nodded. I jumped into the living room. It was Karon according to my phone screen. I knew exactly why she was calling. "Hi!"

 

"Good morning!" There was a long pregnant pause on her end. "Did you enjoy last night's World Cup final?" 

 

"I surely did!" 

 

"And did you recently check the media?"

 

"Unfortunately, I just had the joy, yes!"

 

"Anything you want to tell me?"

 

"Absolutely not ... well ... not yet ... at least. Any news on those pictures people seem to be hoping for?"

 

"Nothing."

 

"Well I hope it stays that way."

 

"Do I know her?" God this woman can be nosy sometimes.

 

"Bye Karon!"

 

"No wait!"

 

"What?!" I sighed

 

"Is this something serious."

 

"Well if it is, you will be one of the first to get a wedding invite." I laughed. Suddenly I saw Anikas head pop out of the kitchen door giving me a questioning look. Did I just say that out loud?

 

"Bye Karon!" I put the phone back on the coffee table and walked back into the kitchen.

 

"That was Karon my PR lady."

 

"Ah ok!" I sat back down and we silently continued for a while. "So we are talking wedding invites already?" That nearly made me spray the coffee in my mouth all over the table. As I looked up she gave me a cheeky smile. Gosh I loved that smile. As I tried to find the right words for this remark earlier she put her hand on mine. 

"Don't sweat it. I was just messing with you." I laughed nervously. And people say Germans aren't funny.

 

Reluctantly we had to say goodbye eventually. Anika had rehearsals later that day and sadly she would be away for the rest of the week as off tomorrow in Germany so she wouldn't be there on Saturday either. 

 

Very soon after I arrived back home my phone would not stop ringing. Friends who as it turned out, payed way too much attention to the media called up all day. 

 

The strangest call however was the obe from my mother.

 

"Hi mum!" I sighed.

 

"Well I hope you enjoyed your evening with Anika." I nearly dropped my phone at that statement.

 

"How do you know that ..."

 

"Hah, I knew it was her!" No way, I couldn't believe she tricked me into this. "Told you Tim. I was right." 

 

"Great!" I exclaimed.

 

"Why? Don't tell me you have regrets!"

 

"No, not at all it's just ..."

 

"Don't you go and mess this up Ben. She already had a spot in my heart and so do my future grandchildren and ..."

 

"Mother! For the love of god!" She had to laugh at that remark.

 

"The moment I met her, I knew she was the one for you and you have no idea how delighted I was when I found out she is moving to the UK. Which by the way I am still upset about that I had to find out via the BBC and not yourself." Oooops, I knew there was something I have forgotten. "Anyways, I am glad that you took matters into your own hands otherwise I ..."

 

"Please don't tell me you were planning to meddle in this."

 

"Yes indeed." I could only sigh in response 

 

"So? Is this serious?"

 

"I wish people would stop asking me this."

 

"Are you taking her out on Saturday?"

 

"She won't be here."

 

"Awwww, that's a shame." I could here her thinking all the way over here. "And there is nothing you can do? It's your birthday after all."

 

"Nothing I can do, she's not in the country and anyway, I don't think she knows it's my birthday and ..."

 

"You didn't tell her?"

 

"What's the point? I don't want a fuzz and we just started this and ..."

 

"I am sure if you had told her she would have made arrangements to make it."

 

"Please stop it. It will be a quiet night for me and just a few drinks with Tom and Martin. Nothing else." I heard her sigh. "Anyway, I've got to go."

 

"Ok, talk to you soon."

 

Thanks to this conversation I started having doubts all week about whether I should have told her or not.


	13. Chapter 13

This was probably the most depressing pre-birthday party I had ever attended in a long time and the worst part was? It was my own party.

 

It was the Friday before my birthday. We were currently in a cab on our way to who knows where - clearly the middle of nowhere.

 

"Cheer up mate!" Tom was really trying hard to wind me up tonight. I gave him a look that made him understand not to mess with me.

 

"Woah!" Martin remarked. "Who rattled your cage today?"

 

"Guys, all I asked for was a few drinks. Somehow something that simple turned out to be the crappiest night-out ever and I swear to god, if I get food poisoning from that questionable place we went to earlier, I swear ... you ... will ... die!" They both laughed.

 

"I don't know what's so funny!" I was seriously pissed off by this point. "You are absolutely useless. You couldn't even organise a piss-up in a brewery!"

 

"C'mon dude! It's been great so far. You're just upset because a certain German lady isn't here to celebrate with you." Martin remarkecatchch suddenly got Tom's attention.

 

"Who?" I saw Martin trying to say something.

 

"I swear, you say one word and I cannot guarantee that you will make the end of the night." Martin pulled up his hands up in defeat.

 

"I haven't said a thing!"

 

"Good!" I looked out the window trying to recognise where we were. I had no such luck. "Now will you please tell me where the hell we are going?"

 

"Nope!" Martin responded.

 

"But seriously guys ... what German lady." I shot Tom a glare that immediately shut him up.

 

Eventually the cab came to a halt and as we got out I started to recognise the surroundings in the dark. Now I was beyond pissed off.

 

"You dragged me all the way to your place? ... For what?" Martin shrugged his shoulders and walked towards the house.

 

"I thought a few more beers would be nice." Again, for the millionth time he checked his phone and typed something into it and turned off the screen again. I found this quite rude actually that his phone appeared to be more interesting than this evening he and Tom had organised.

 

"We could have had them in the pub." I checked my watch. It was almost midnight. "I swear this has just turned from one of the worst parties to THE worst party I had so far."

 

"You are being a but harsh, aren't you?" Tom attempted to defend Martin and himself.

 

"Am I? ... AM I?"

 

"For god sake!" Martin jumped in. "Will you stop screaming. The kids are in bed."

 

"Bloody great!" I was ready to go home by this point. I turned around but the cab had already taken off. "Brilliant!"

 

"Ok we get it." Martin remarked. "Will you at least come inside while you wait and I call you cab in a moment." I nodded. We got to the house. The lights were out. We stepped into the house. Martin lead us to the living room and opened the door. It was pitch dark but I swear I could hear a almost inaudible giggle.

 

"Just sit down you two while I call a cab." I turned around and saw Martin still at the door. He turned on the lights.

 

"SUUUUUURRRRPRRRRIIIISE!!!!"

 

For a moment I thought I was suffering a heart attack. 

 

"Holy shit!" I jumped and turned around. The living room was crowded with friends and my parents. I couldn't believe it. The sight of them and the realisation that this crappy evening was clearly a set-up suddenly made me incredibly emotional. "One day you will pay for this!" I pointed my fingers at Tom and Martin. Everyone laughed.

 

Suddenly it didn't quite matter so much that Anika wasn't here. I would see her again soon and I started enjoying myself. My mother came towards me, hugged me and kissed my cheek.

 

"Happy Birthday, Darling!" Checking my watch again it turned out I had indeed just turned 38.

 

Amanda rushed past me and left the living room. A few moments later someone shut the lights again and I saw a moving light source coming from the hallway which turned out to be a cake with way too many candles on it in my opinion. Where those really 38 candles? Everyone started joining into the Happy Birthday song. As I was shocked about the sight of those many candles, I was oblivious to the fact who was just in front of me holding out a black forest gateau. 

 

"Make a wish!" I heard a very familiar voice. Suddenly I snapped out of it and looked into this beautiful warm glowing face.

 

"Anika!" I was in such shock that it brought tears to my eyes. 

 

"Quick or they'll go out soon!" She was right. Some of the candles were growing quite small already. I took a deep breath and in two attempts I managed to blow them out. For a few moments it was dark as everyone clapped and cheered. Had she not been holding the cake, I would have pulled her into a crushing hug right now. The lights went on and she smiled at me.

 

"Thank you everyone! This is an awesome surprise." I announced.

 

Amanda and Martin had put out quite spread of food and drinks. Even several hours later everyone was still here enjoying themselves. Unfortunately the whole time I did not get a chance to even be close to Anika. Everyone except for me did get a chance to speak to her. Especially Tom seemed quite keen to talk to her. I went out into the garden for a smoke and at some point Tom also came out grinning widely at me.

 

"What?" I laughed.

 

"So that's the mysterious German lady?" I smiled in response. "She's quite smitten with you." My grin grew wider. "And for a German she has a hilarious sense of humor." He laughed. "She's quite a catch. I hope you know that."

 

"I know that!" I said with a little pride.

 

"You better never let that one go."

 

"I wasn't actually not planning on it." He grinned and clapped me on the shoulder. I looked towards the house and saw Anika stepping out into the garden and so did Tom. I gave him a look that he clearly understood. He wordlessly left me alone walked past Anika. She acknowledged him with a smile and walked towards me. She stepped closer as I put out my cigarette. 

 

"These aren't good for you!" she teased.

 

"So I've been told!" She laughed. She stepped closer and stood right in front of me and kissed my cheek.

 

"Happy Birthday!"

 

"Thank you for being here!"

 

"Yes, about that!" She lightly punched me in the arm. "I've got a bone to pick with you."

 

"Oh oh!"

 

"Oh yes! When I was in Germany, I found out from the BBC that someone was very keen to find out my contact details and it turned out to be this actress named Wanda Ventham." I laughed. "Do you know her?"

 

"I have heard of her!" I grinned.

 

"So this lovely lady contacts me on Tuesday telling me of her lovely son and how I must not miss his birthday."

 

"Hmmmmm!" 

 

"No seriously! You should have told me."

 

"I could not have asked you to make rearrangements of your plans." She leaned in to kiss me.

 

"It was worth it to me." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her again. A clap on my shoulder made me jump.

 

"Right you two lovebirds. We are off." My dad and mum suddenly stood infront of us. My mum hugged Anika.

 

"Thank you for that amazing cake and for being here!"

 

"You are welcome."

 

"Auf Wiedersehen!" said my dad and also hugged her.

 

"Lunch at ours tomorrow!" My mum told me suddenly. "No excuses and make sure you bring this lovely lady along."

 

"Well I guess there is no point in arguing then." I said and Anika laughed.

 

"Thank you for the invitation."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok folks, a little writer's block forces me to do a little jump in time. I've been struggling for a while with this and it was a hard decision but there is plenty to come now so it's all good. This is a little prelude into this amazing relationship.

I still don't quite believe it's been a year since Anika and I had been together. We had our ups and downs but we battled through the downs quite well. 

 

For our aniversary we had decided to have some time off together and spend time with her friends and family in her hometown. 

 

This was the first time in a long while that we actually had just time for us with neither of us having to leave town or even the country and only communicate via text messages and skype. This has for a while now been a pressure point in our relationship but this trip was our opportunity to relax, have time for us and finally talk where we were to go from here. This all went well until 3 days into our trip.

 

We had decided to see a play at the local theatre of her hometown and went for dinner beforehand just the two of us. Her parents would join us later. Her parents are great, actually. They both work at the opera house themselves. Her mother Ruth is a set designer and her dad Peter is stage technician. One day I had the honour of watch Ruth while at work. She was a great artist.

 

So while the two of us had dinner, I noticed this guy who kept glancing at our table and it made me feel awkward. I made every efford to ignore it, I don't think Anika noticed him. But after a while it got too much for me and I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I calmed down and returned to the table I was shocked to find this guy was now sitting at our table talking to Anika and she did not look comfortable - not at all. The girl the guy was with who was now sitting on her own at their table looked furious. I rushed to our table.

 

"You ok?" I asked Anika. 

 

"Yeah!" She responded but her voice told me she wasn't. I looked at the guy hoping he would disappear any time soon. He said something in German to Anika and put a card in front of her with some contact details. Anika made no motion to even touch it. He said something in German again and it drove me nuts that I could not understand them. I had started taking German lessons a while ago and did in fact do quite well but had to learn the hard way that German with a Saxon dialect was nothing compared to the German I was learning. I could barely understand Anika's friends and family either but they were often going easy on me making an efford to help me understand then.

 

"Es ist unhöflich, dass du dein Date warten lässt!" I interrupted him in a broken German but he made no motion to move. He touched Anika's shoulder and dared to tell her to call him if she wants to talk. That much German I understood. It was now Anika that asked him to go. So he went back to his table and I sat back down. Tears started welling up in Anika's eyes. 

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" She shook her head. Luckily we had finished eating so I got up and settled the bill with the waiter at the front desk of the restaurant. As I came back she gave me a grateful smile.

 

"Thank you!" she sighed and a tear ran down her cheek. She got up and I put her arm around me. She didn't pay any attention to the card on the table. 

 

"Let's get some fresh air!" I suggested and she nodded.

 

We were initially planning to call a taxi to the theatre but as we had enough time now, we just walked. After a while I just had to ask.

 

"Can I asked who that was?" I asked her very carefully. She took a deep breath.

 

"Yes! That was Markus!" I stopped in my tracks and looked at her.

 

"THE Markus?" She nodded. "Your ex and Karl's dad? That Markus?!?" 

 

"Yes, unfortunately."

 

"What did he want?"

 

"He wanted a chat and catch up. He was surprised to see me back here." I had to scoff at that remark. I found out from Anika a few months ago how this all had ended with them and how he attempted to force her to give Karl up for adoption otherwise he would leave her. She chose her son over him and I loved her for it. That this guy now had the guts to casully walked back into her life made me furious.

 

"So will you?" I asked with a little insecurity. 

 

"Well I haven't taken is card so I can't just call him, can I?" She answered a little harshly and the moment she said it there was regret in her eyes. She stepped towards me and hugged me. "I'm sorry. He caught me off guard. The last one I wanted to see was him and ... I'm sorry, I shouldn't take this out on you." I kissed her temple. "And no! I won't contact him." I smiled.

 

We soon arrived at the theatre and really enjoyed the show and soon the encounter earlier was forgotten. We returned to Anika's parents house where we were staying during our stay.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is going to be rather short but we you are heading for a an exciting and emotional story line ahead.

A banging on the door and constant ringing of a doorbell dragged us both out of our dreams.

“What the hell?” We both sat up. We got out of bed and we left the guest room of her parent’s house. We weren’t the only ones that were awake by this point. Peter also stepped out of the bedroom rushing down the stairs. I followed him.

“Stay up here!” I was seriously concerned for Anika. I reached Peter downstairs as he harshly pulled the front door open and someone stumbled into the hallway.

“Markus!” I heard Peter say.

“You have got to be kidding me!” I said angrily. Peter reached down and not being particularily careful he angrily pulled him off the floor and had to push Markus against the wall. He was clearly drunk and was struggling to stand. I heard Anika say something in German and I could tell she was pissed off. She stepped in front of Markus and I tried to stop her.

“Verschwinde!” She told him but I don’t think he was remotely conscious enough to even hear nor understand her. He must have suddenly noticed her and launched forward.

“Woah woah woah. Easy there!” I harshly pushed him against the wall. Ruth now also came downstairs. As if nothing happened he greeted her with a drunken glee. I was outraged and so was Anika. Peter told them both to go upstairs and Markus used that moment of lack of attention to launch again. This time at me. 

“Arschloch!” was the last thing I heard before his fist landed in my face. I saw stars flying in front of my eyes and for a moment thought I was going to pass out.

“Shit!” I exclaimed and let go of him to hold onto the next available wall but it appeared that he wasn’t done. When Anika came over to hold him back he launched again at her pushing her over. She fell to the floor and the next thing I heard was an ear piercing scream from her. I came to my senses again and rushed to her side. She was holding her wrist and tears of pain were running down her cheeks. Ruth didn’t hesitate long and rushed to the living room. I realised that she was calling the police. 

We were now sitting in A&E and Anika couldn’t stop crying. It wasn’t the pain now that was making her cry but the fact that she knew how badly an injury can affect your career when you need to rely on a functioning body. 

“It will all be alright!” I tried to assure her but right now, I feared myself that I was just kidding myself. Markus had been taken to the police station and a statement was taken from all of us. We all tried to convince her to press charges against him but she kept shaking this off being more worried about her future as a musician.

The doctor eventually came back with the results of the x-Ray and it didn’t take a medical expert to see that this didn’t look good. He told her what needed to happen next and the next thing I knew was that I was taken out of the room and he explained the same again to her parents.

“Will you please tell me what is happening now?” I asked angrily.

“She has fractured her arm but doesn’t need surgery. She needs to be put under general anaesthesia for a short moment to help them realign the bones. The pain would be too strong to just give her a local anaesthetic.” I nodded. For a moment I had feared the worst when I was pushed out of the room. Tears of relief suddenly welled up in my eyes. Ruth walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. 

The next half an hour felt excruciating for a little while I was distracted as a nurse insisted on checking my eye but luckily it was nothing an ice pack wouldn’t be able to resolve, she told me. We were all were relieved when the doctor came back out of the room. We were allowed back into the room. Anika was sort of awake but I could tell she must have just come around from the anaesthesia. Her lower arm was in a cast. I walked over to her and kissed her forehead. With her free hand she wrapped her arm around my neck and kissed me.

“Hi!” She said tiredly. 

“Hi sleepyhead!” I smiled at her. 

Peter, Ruth and I were allowed to stay for a few more minutes. Anika had to stay for a little while longer so we headed home for a few more hours of sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Anika was told she needed to wear the cast for at least six weeks and it made her miserable. A week after the cast came off she had been hoping to be able to start playing again immediately but such a long time in a cast of course caused her hand movement to be affected by it. I was however certain that this was nothing physiotherapy couldn’t fix. However Anika was convinced that this was the end of her career.

“Anika, you are an excellent musician. A few weeks in a cast and a few more sessions of physiotherapy won’t stop you from doing so.” I was frustrated but I was doing my hardest not to show her. 

“How would you know?”

“Anika, I’m just saying that …”

“Well you are not helping!” OK, that did hurt. I got up.

“I’m sorry. Yes, I can’t help you. I understand that you are angry and frustrated.” She rolled her eyes and tears were again running down her cheeks. She seemed to be doing a lot of crying lately. I had tried to convince her to try something else while she couldn’t work. But she had decided to sulk in misery and it was pushing her buttons as well as mine. “I don’t like when people roll their eyes at me. Just to let you know.” 

“Well you don’t have to be here!” That felt like a punch in the face. At this point I had enough and I decided to grab my bag.

“I better leave before either of us say anything that we will regret!” She didn’t say anything. I went over to her and kissed the top of her head and left without another word.

A few days went by and she had not contacted me and it hurt – a lot. I decided to go out with a few friends just to clear my head. That night was only little distraction from my aching heart. Why wouldn’t she call me? It drove me insane. My friends noticed as well that I wasn’t myself but I wouldn’t open up to what happened or what was going on.

“Ben?” I turned around, it was Olivia.

“Hi!” I said in surprise. I hadn’t seen her in over a year. “How are you?” I hugged her.

“Oh there you are darling!” Someone stood next to her suddenly, he put his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

“Ben! Wow! In the flash!” A guy I don’t know held out his hand and I shook it smilingly. I was glad to see her in a relationship again. “Olivia told me so much about you. It’s great to meet you finally.” 

As it was getting a little crowded in here, we all decided to move to a different pub. Olivia and her as it turned out fiancé decided to join us. Unfortunately, the paparazzi had gotten wind of my whereabouts and where going mental with the cameras as we all left the pub.

The night had offered little distraction but at least the hangover the next morning was. Another few days went by now and what didn’t help was that Anika still hadn’t called and I was furious now. However, I was also too proud to call her. One morning I decided to go for a walk at Hampstead Heath to clear my head. I hadn’t done that in a while. I was just lacking the time to do so nowadays.

I had been walking for an hour when I decided to sit down on one of the benches and just soak in the sun. I watched people walk their dogs and parents with their kids. Suddenly in the distance I recognised a familiar face. I didn’t know what to do so I let her get closer. I don’t think she saw me. Only when was up the hill and eyed the bench I was sitting on. She saw me, stopped in her tracks and turned around and walked away.

“ANIKA!” She ignored me. I rushed after her. “Will you stop for a moment?” I said a little angrier than I was aiming for.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Excuse me?” She turned around and she looked furious.

“I have nothing to say to you anymore.” 

“Sorry, I should be the one who is angry with you considering how much bitterness and take your insults I had to deal with from your end and you have the guts to tell me that …”

“And that’s the reason why you get back together with you ex?”

“WHAT?!?”

“Don’t play with me. It’s all over the media.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Your night-out with Olivia your former girlfriend … oh no, rekindling with the love of your life as the media put it.” She said in her sarcastic tone she had mastered so well. Normally I loved it. Right now I hated her for it.

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Well, fine Ben but this you will understand. I’m done with you.”

“Anika, please … listen to me.” I reached for her hand. “I …”

“DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!” She shouted at me. I froze on the spot and let her get away. In total stupor I made it back to my place and as soon as I shut the door I slid down on the door I just shut behind me. It had finally sunk in what just happened and the moment it hit home, I was not able to stop the tears. I let what she told me run through my head again. Where the hell did she get this information from? She said the media but how and when? It took a little while longer and it hit home that I of course was out with her and we didn’t go unnoticed. 

I rushed to get off the floor and grabbed my laptop. It didn't take long to find what I was looking for online and I was outraged. A few simple pictures of Olivia, my friends, her fiancé and me walking out of a pup turned such a simple thing out of proportion beyond believe. What the hell was wrong with these people? Immediately I grabbed my phone and dialled Anika’s number but each time I called it went straight to voice mail and under the circumstances I didn't blame her. 

Two weeks went by and I could not reach her. I was struggling to eat anything and I was lacking sleep. The times I slept, nightmares haunted me. 

“Ben what is going on with you? You look like shit!” Amanda remarked a few days after. We were all called in to go over the script of the Sherlock Christmas special this year. 

“I don’t want to talk about it!”

“Ben, what’s …”

“I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, OKAY?” Amanda put her hands up in defeat everyone else was suddenly looking at me. 

“What the hell’s going on?” It was Martin ha came to her defense now. I couldn't deal with any form of apologies I had to hand out later or right now. It was all too much. I had to get out of here.

I got to my car and there was only one place where I needed to be right now. I stopped in front of the house parked the car and rang Anika’s door bell. There was no answer. I tried again but no luck. I was about to turn around when the front door opened and someone walked out. I rushed in once the person was out. I ran up the stairs. I was praying she was there. I arrived on the top floor and heard a loud crash behind her door. I rang the bell and heard another crash. 

“HELP!” I could hear a muffled scream for help. I heard the door on the lower floor open and someone rush up the stairs as I banged against the door. What the hell was going on here.

“What’s going on?” Said an older lady who just got up the stairs.

“I don’t know. She needs help and I don’t know what to do!” I was starting to feel dizzy in panic.

“Wait. I have her key in case she ever loses hers or for other emergencies.” I was dying in agony up here and had already called the police as well who would be on their way immediately, I was told. The lady handed me the key and we heard another scream and she started shaking.

I almost rammed the door into the key hole and rushed into the flat towards the open living room door.

“GET OFF HER!!!” I rushed into the living room and found Markus on top of her. I pulled him off her and was ready to kill him right now. I feared the worst but to my relief I found nothing had yet happened but the panic Anika must have been going through was unimaginable. It appears that other people in the house got wind that something was up and suddenly several man held him down as the lady with the key went over to Anika to calm her down. She was pale as a sheet and I don’t think she noticed me. The police arrived shortly after and took him into custody right away. I was asked to leave a statement outside the house in the police car and was allowed to leave an hour later. The last thing Anika needed right now is the stress of two ex-boyfriends bothering her – one was plenty enough. So I took my leave and there was one place I needed to go now. 

I arrived at their house hoping they were in but especially one person. It was Grace who opened the door. 

“Hi Darling!” She smiled at me.

“Are your mum and dad in?” She shook her head. “Granny is and …” I started my chest tightening and started breathing faster – so fast it was painful. “Oh there they …” I collapsed to the floor not noticing the car that just drove into the driveway. I started crying bitterly. Why the hell was everything falling to pieces right now?

“BEN!” Amanda rushed to my side. Only now I noticed them but I couldn't breathe anymore properly. “Ben! Hey hey hey!” 

“Call an ambulance. Right now!” She told Martin. “Ben, calm down and try to breathe.” Was the last thing I heard before passing out. 

Next time I woke up inside an ambulance and leaning over. 

“Woah!” I heard someone say as I threw up into a paper bowl he was holding under my mouth just in time.

Someone grabbed my hand.

“Bloody hell you had me scared.” It was Amanda smiling at me. I started crying at her sight immediately. 

“I’m sorry.” She leaned over me and hugged me. 

“Ben, don’t be. It’s okay.” She hugged me tighter. “I called your parents but they aren’t even in the country it turned out but I called Anika and she is on her way to the hospital and …”

“What? Why did you call her? We are …” I heard the monitor going of in alarm.

“Try to stay calm.” The doctor told me.

“Ben, what’s going on?” Oh my god, she didn’t know about this.

“We are ready to take him to hospital now.” Amanda nodded. She kissed my forehead.

“I come over as soon as I can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOhhhh. this chapter went a little astray with me and is a little dramatic but it was 1 am when I finshed this. so I'm blaming it on this ;)


	17. Chapter 17

On my way to the hospital I was starting to feel much better and my head finally started to clear. I was now certain what needed to be done and said if Anika would indeed would indeed turn up later.

 

I spent several hours in A&E just waiting and at some point while waiting in my cubicle lying on a bed I fell asleep.

 

"Ben?" I woke up looking into Anika's eyes.

 

"Hi!" I said tiredly. 

 

"Hi!" She smiled. Suddenly she pulled me into a tight hug not seeming to want to ever let go again. "Thank you for saving me earlier!" She said with a sniffle. She lifted herself up and looked into my eyes again.

 

"Oh I thought you were in such a shock that you didn't notice I was there."

 

"No I did! This just rendered me speechless and motionless. It took me a good hour to come around by which time you were gone." She took a deep breath. "And about another hour later when I was being checked up myself in hospital, I get a call from Amanda that you broke down in front of her house." Tears welled up in her eyes.

 

"I'm sorry!" 

 

"Why?"

 

"After what you have been through today, you should not have to deal with this as well." She shook her head.

 

"That's the least I can do." I smiled. She leaned down to me and hugged me again. Suddenly the curtain around my bed was pulled open again and a doctor walked in.

 

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

 

Shortly after the doctor saw me, I was released again and Anika drove me home. I had been ordered to eat decently again, rest and especially sleep. The doctor was happy to let me go after he assessed that what I had to deal with was pure exhaustion that lead to a panic attack when my body was giving in to the torture I put it through the last two weeks. We arrived at my house and ai turned to Anika. 

 

"Do you mind coming up with me?" She nodded.

 

"I wasn't planning on leaving before I have ensured that you have eaten something." I smiled.

 

Shortly after I was busying herself in my kitchen cooking pasta for me to get some carbs into me as she put it. I sat on the sofa listening to the noises she made in the kitchen. I almost fell asleep again when I had a bowl od steaming Pasta in front of me. I took it from her and she handed me a fork.

 

"Thank you." I tucked in and it was delicious. I looked at her. "Are you not eating?"

 

"Not hungry." She said. I gave her a questioning look.

 

"I'm fine!" She watched me finish the food.

 

"Thank you that was delicious." She smiled. I handed her the dish and she put it on the coffee table.

 

"We need to talk!" We both said in unison and laughed.

 

"Go ahead!" I said. She smiled and took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes.

 

"First, I need to apologise." She took another calming breath. "I was behaving like a spoiled brat while I had the cast one and especially afterwards when you attempted to help me. I was so unfair to you and was too proud to call me. At the time I could not acceot that you just walked out on me. So I decided you should be the one who has to contact me. I was too proud." I laughed.

 

"That was the same thing I thought at the time." Tears were in her eyes now. 

 

"Can you forgive me?" I nodded and ahe hugged me.

 

"Anika listen, about Olivia. I was out with friends and she happened to be there. Nothing happened. Don't believe the press. She is in fact engaged and not to me." She smiled.

 

"Yes, we talked about this so often how dangerous it can be to believe the media and when it mattered. I believed them. And I didn't even have the courage to speak to you about it. Only when I saw you on the heat did I let go of my anger." A tear ran down her cheek now and I put my hand on her's. "I believe you. Eventually I came to my senses that the way you reacted to my accusations really meant that you didn't know what was going on and I trust that you woukdn't just walk over to someone else over a girlfriend being incredibly stupid." she took a deep breath again. "I'm sorry for what I put you through. You clearly didn't eat or sleep probably the last two weeks." I nodded. I sat uo and hugged her.

 

"I forgive you but we need to talk about us." She nodded. 

"Anika, I love you!" She smiled in acknowledgement but didn't sqy anything to allow me to continue. "And I'm still hoping that one day we will find back together but right now after all this, we need some time for us, time apart." She looked at me a little surprised but let me continue. "We need time for ourselves and think about what we want and need and whether this means us together or us as friends. We need to come to terms eith the fact that this relationship hasn't always been the greatest and the last few weeks have really shown this." She nodded in agreement.

 

"When I saw you today and on the way to the hospital I came to the decision that this was the exact thing I need to tell you as well." I gave her a thankful smile. I loved her for this. We often ticked the same way and I would always love her for that regardless what would happen.

 

She still stayed with me for a while and I finally got a chance what happened in her flat. Markus had managed to find out Anika's address via one of their mutual friends and just turned up at her door. When she rejected him this all got out of hand. Nothing really happen except for her being extremely shaken. She agreed with me that she needed to see a psychologist even if nothing happened. She agreed with me and assured me that she would keep me posted. Regardless what happened, I didn't want to lose her as a friend - I cared too much for her to let her go. This time she pressed charges and Markus would have to face the judge over it. She would not let this go this time until he faced justice.

 

When I was growing tired, Anika decided to leave. I walked her to the door. She pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek.

 

"Thank you for everything today." We both said in unison and had to laugh. She hugged me once again and then left. I walked back to the living room and sat back down on the sofa. I was finally able t o let go of the tears I held on to so desperately while Anika was here. It was the right decision we had made today but it was by no means an easy one.


	18. Chapter 18

Several months had gone by. Anika and I had not seen each other. Amanda kept me posted that she was well. Markus had been found guilty of assault and breaking and entering.

 

My parents were furious especially my mother that we had decided to take a break. I could not convince her that this was the best for both of us.

 

I was busying myself with work. We finished filming the Sherlock Christmas special and I had just returned from the US promoting my latest film.

 

In the morning a reminder popped up on my phone saying I had a German lesson to attend today. I had barely been able to go these last couple of months but I was still keen on learning. So I went and we got the most ridiculous homework ever. The teacher gave everyone different song lyrics of some German songs and we had to translate them at home. As he handed them out I was just hoping it wouldn't be Rammstein. I would not have minded Einstürzende Neubauten. But it turned out I got some of a band I never heard of: Sportfreunde Stiller. The song was called "Applaus, Applaus". Great, off to a good start I thought.

 

As I hated putting stuff off and making excuses for not finishing things because of lack of time, I got started the moment I got home and it started out to be a nightmare.

 

"What the hell is this?"

I got started and what I read and was in my brain just didn't seem to make sense.

Oh this would be a tough one. So I decided to find a song on youtube on my phone for inspiration. Not that I was hoping to understand them but I did it anyway.

The tune was a little cheesy but it wasn't too bad. I kept staring at the paper and if somehow a switch was flicked over, it came to me easily and I rattled through the translation, constantly pressing replay and giving my dictionary a good run for its money.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

If my hand is clenched to a fist  
you open it for me  
and place yours in mine.  
Through all this noise  
you advisedly whisper phrases  
as if they were my sextant and compass.

 

Applause, Applause,  
For your words.  
My heart rejoices  
When you smile!  
Applause, Applause,  
for your ways to excite me.  
Don't ever stop to do so!  
I badly wish that you will never stop to do so.

 

If my earth is flat,  
you make it round again.  
You show me in calm ways  
what broad horizons are.  
If I once again run my head against a wall, you hand me a helmet and a hammer.

 

Applause, Applause,  
For your words  
My heart rejoices  
When you smile!  
Applause, Applause,  
For your ways to excite me.  
Don't ever stop to do so!  
I badly wish that you will never stop to do so.

 

Applause, Applause,  
For your words  
My heart rejoices  
When you smile!  
Applause, Applause,  
For your ways to excite me.  
Don't ever stop to do so!  
I badly wish that you will never stop to do so

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

Wow! What an eye opener that song was. This pretty much described why I love Anika. I was hoping that one day I would be able to tell her again.

 

A few weeks later Amanda, Martin and I were invited to a charity event for Children in Need and quite a few familiar faces were there including my old school friend James and his now heavily pregnant wife. We also hadn't talked in a while so we had a brief moment to catch up until James had to excuse himself. Part of the event was a little concert he ran with a partner and this would start in a moment.

 

We found our seats and suddenly applause errupted and I heard Amanda gasp.

 

"Oh that's Anika!" My head shot around to the piano I spotted earlier and indeed she was there. 

 

"Wow! That's new!" Martin remarked in surprise. I knew what he was referring to. 

She looked stunning and she had gone for a very drastic new hair cut. It looked beautiful no doubt in that. It was a sweet very soft bob and the colour was slighy lighter and she had highlights done. She once told me that whenever there was a major change in her life she had in the past gone for a radical new hair cut. This couldn't be good. What was that change. Did this no longer involve me in her life.

 

James and her played beautifully but I could not handle this situation. Before they had even finished playing I excused myself to go home saying I wasn't feeling well. To be honest, I wasn't even lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you are interested in that song. You can find it here  
> http://youtu.be/yeNHxg-ciDI


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! What a day this has been. I feel a little awkward continuing this story considering the beautiful news that have been released of Ben and Sophie today but maybe it will become less awkward in a little while. Here's the next chapter.

My phone didn't stop ring all night. I was not in the mood on checking who it was. Clearly it was Amanda or Martin who couldn't avoid seing my desperate departure. 

My mind was going wild with speculations and they weren't positive. I hated myself for not even once picking up to phone to Anika in these last months to at least show her that I cared still. I did care but I wanted to give her space and we both needed it. 

In fact, I removed her number from my phone so I would be tempted to bother her. A clean cut seemed reasonable at the time and I could always ask Amanda for her number I thought at the time or just turn up at her door. But the fact that I didn't and it now made my heart ache. I hadn't been able to stop the tears since I got home. I was considering getting drunk but I knew numbing the pain was something I would regret tomorrow.

 

I finally had enough of the crying and forced myself to calm down. I needed some fresh air. I was sick to my stomach and I hoped that cleaing my head would help. I grabbed my keys and ignored the mobile ringing again on my coffee table. 

 

I walked down the stairs and opened the front door and got a glimpse of someone walking out of the front gate of the little pathway in front of the house and turn right. I turned around to shut the door quietly not to disturb anyone else living here. As I turned around, I saw that person again. Gosh it was bloody dark in this street, I couldn't see a thing. 

 

"Looking for someone?" I asked and the person jumped and stopped in it's track. Obviously he or she didn't see me either. As the person suddenly stepped closer, I was ready to cry again.

 

"Hi!" It was Anika. I had to hold on to the nearest wall. I was not prepared for this. Not tonight. I feared the worst and was looking for the nearest escape route.

 

"I was on my way out!" Was all I could say.

 

"I can see that." She said with a little laugh. Gosh hownI had missed her laugh. "Look, this isn't easy and I've been standing here for the past hour debating with myself whether I should speak to you or not." She took a deep breath. "And considering you ignored all my calls, I ..." She stopped and I could tell she was struggling for words and she shook her head. "No, forget it. Nevermind!" She turned around. "What a stupid idea!" She mumbled to herself and started walking away but this time I wouldn't let her. Even if worse came to worst I would do my best to not let her walk again from me ever. The sudden realisation that I was about to never see her again made me short breathed again.

 

"Anika!" Was all I could manage. She turned around and came closer and took a clearly audible breath. 

 

"I know you are going somewhere but can you please give me five minutes of your time?" She asked with a sudden courage in her voice. She could have all the time in the world, my whole lifetime if she wanted. 

 

"Ok." I turned around, put the key back into the door and signaled her to walk in. I followed her to my flat and unlocked the door. We walked into me living room.

 

"Tea?" She shook her head nervously. I sat down on the sofa and she followed me. 

 

We sat there quietly for what felt like an eternity. I was scared to look at her because of what I was fearing she was about to tell me. Suddenly the hands in my lap had become extremely interesting. It was a sob from her that made me look up. She tears were in her eyes and I didn't know what to do. Would it be awkward to hug her right now? I decided it would be even though I was so desperate to never let her go again. Seing her cry made me incredibly emotional and I was ready to break down with her. Why was this so difficult? When I was ready to grab her hand reassuringly she spoke up.

 

"When I saw the guest list for this event, I wasn't sure sure anymore whether I wanted to do James this favour he asked of me." She looked me in the eyes and my heart sank. "I have been thinking about us a lot lately." 

 

More tears suddenly came rolling down her cheeks and I took in a heavy shaky breath. 

 

"I was seriously worried seing you again." She paused for what it seemed like an eternity. Now I took her hand and stroked it with my thumb. "Not knowing whether this would be awkward around you. Not knowing how you felt after these months." She took a deep breath. 

 

"And then you just left." She was crying now. "You didn't even see me finish." Oh my god, I had once promised her that would always do my best to make her concerts and here I was leaving and she clearly must have seen me leave.

 

"It just confirmed my fears." She looked away for a moment to wipe another set of tears from her eyes.

 

"I get it now. You don't feel the same anymore anymore but I need to tell you. I am sorry for being so horrible to you and ruining this relationship. Sometimes my hot headedness just gets the better of me and everyone has to suffer." She took another shaky deep breath. Tears were in my eyes now. 

 

"A few weeks ago I realised that I never want to leave you again. You make me a better person. If I could, I would spend the rest of my life with you." She let another tear roll down her cheek. "I love you!" My heart was melting by this point. This was the big change that made her change her hair. 

 

Tears were running down my cheeks now and my heart felt like it was jumping out of my chest. She suddenly got up. 

 

"That's all I had to say and now you can get on to where you needed to go." She smiled at me. "Sorry to bother you with this." She suddenly with a little insecurity in her voice.

 

I grabbed her wrist. 

 

"Don't you ever dare think that you are bothering me." She looked at me in shock. She clearly wasn't expecting me to say this. I got up and looked her in the eyes. "Don't you want to hear what I have to say?" She just shrugged her shoulders. I knew she was worried that I would reject her. I couldn't believe that we had shared the same fears the whole time. I put my arms around her waist and she let out a sob before she started crying into my chest. I placed my hand on the back of her head and kissed the top of it. 

 

"If you'll let me I will take good care of you for the rest of our life." She looked up forcing herself to stop crying and smiled in tears. "Ich liebe dich Anika!" 

 

Now we were both crying but this time it was the relief of all this tension and the beautiful emotions that turned the two of us into awful wrecks but neither of us cared.


	20. Chapter 20

We had just arrived in 2016 and Anika had in November last year fulfilled a long lived dream. She was now studying at the Royal Academy of Music to become a conductor. It was always seen as a male profession and you really didn't see a lot of women leading concerts. She found this to be as sad as I did and I suported her all the way.

 

She was still working at the BBC Philharmonic but as a guest and she enjoyed it.

 

Her concerns about age and studying so late in live were thankfully shattered by my dad.

 

"For god's sakes you are 33 years old. You have all the time you need ahead of you! Stop worrying. You will do fine."

 

She also become Grace's tutor in both the cello and the piano. Amanda and Martin enjoyed that greatly. Joe wasn't so keen on learning to play any instrument but he still enjoyed those football matches against her.

 

Things between us were going great and I loved her more and more every single day with her little quirks. Every so often she would forget that I had improved my German so well that I occasionally did talk German with her. Whenever she had little outbursts she had them in German and I would just smile away as if I had heard or understood nothing. It was quite sweet. 

 

We had spent our first Christmas together. The year before she was home with her family and I was with mine. This year Anika's parents, her sister Luise and Luise's boyfriend came to visit us and we spent the holiday's at my parent's house. My mum still hadn't removed the traditional wooden Weihnachtspyramide as the Germans called it, she had received from Anika's parents that was crafted in the Ore Mountains - the area where Anika wad from - from her mantlepiece. It was getting a little ridiculous actually but she loved it so I wouldn't really argue with her.

 

It was on Christmas Eve also that I asked Anika's father Peter the probably most important question in my life and he gladly gave me permission. I however had not yet had the guts to ask Anika. 

 

Thankfully as well her dad had her old engagement ring measured that they still had from Markus. It turned out Markus never wanted it when Anika asked him to take it back so her parents kept it. Her dad however had told me that he would send it to Markus' parents when he gave me the measures and I was glad to hear that.

 

It was now February and we decided to take a little trip to Ireland. Anika had only been a couple of times for concerts but didn't get to see anything but the concert halls and hotels in Dublin and she desperately wanted to go back. So I planned a little surprise trip for her birthday.

 

When I walked out of the travel agency with the trip finalised and booked. We would be leaving a day after her birthday. I walked past a jewellers and out of curiosity checked the engagement ring and found that one ring that screamed at me - it certainly was Anika's. 

 

She wasn't the person that loved a lot of bling and this one was simple but beautiful. An hour later I had put in an order. But had to beg the seller who recognised me to keep his mouth shut when he got a little overly excited.

 

The media had gotten wind of our relationship shortly after we got back together but the impact of it was less than we feared it would be. Karon did tell me of the ridiculous rumors that were out there which we both laughed off. 

The funniest one was the one of her joining me in Las Vegas for a convention where I was invited as guest and apparently we used this opportunity to secretly get married. You had to leave it to the press to give you a good entertainment every so often. But that's when I found out from Anika that she was not opposed to marriage. 

 

Neither was she to having children. The topic had for a long time be a concern when we first got together in 2014 when we had a little pregnancy scare. I would have been more than happy had it happened but at the time she was not mentally ready after Karl's death.

 

The turning point however was when we met James' and Hattie's baby for the first time. 

 

"Aaaawwww! I want one!" Was what she said when she held this beautiful bundle in her arms and it made my heart melt. While driving home afterwards I asked her again whether she was serious about what she said and nearly made me cry when she said "With you? Anytime!"

 

When I picked up the ring, I had no idea when and where this would happen but with every day that went by without asking her I more desperately wanted to see it on her finger and make her my wife.


	21. Chapter 21

Her birthday party was a small affair. She wanted no fuzz so a few close friends joined us for dinner in a room I had booked just for us in one of her favourite restaurants in Hampstead. Even Daniel was here. We had not seen him in quite some time. He had a busier filming schedule than I did and I was certain he would soon be taking an Oscar home and he well deserved it.

 

We all had a great laugh and Anika mainly got little joke present like a student survival kit from Amanda and Martin and she loved it. Daniel went down the same route and gave her a student cookbook. It turned out mine would probably be the most serious of the lot.

 

Grace helped me make lots of sheep using cotton wool, lots of glue, paper and pink glitter, yes she insisted on the pink glitter and I put them in a box with a green fabric lining. Inside was a card at the bottom telling her the details of our 5 day trip.

 

She hugged me and started crying.

 

"Oh my god that's so sweet!" She hugged and kissed me. 

 

"What is it?" Everyone asked.

 

"We are heading to Ireland tomorrow for a few days."

 

"Aaaawwwww!"

 

So the next day we landed at Shannon airport and drove straight off to Cork where we would be staying for two days. The weather was amazing. Unfortunately from then onwards it was absolutely nasty and my plans on how to pop the question to her went downhill with every single day we were there. We battled the harshest winds and rain as we went to see Cliffs if Moher and went hiking there. 

 

We spent our final night in Galway. It was beautiful here but the weather utterly sucked. I was planning to take her to the beach but Anika was miserable all day. 

 

"Ben can't we just go to the pub?" 

 

"I would rather like to see the city."

 

"But it's bloody cold." She shut her suitcase. We would have to check-out in a moment and still had until 6 pm until we had to to start driving back to the airport. 

 

"But we haven't been to the beach yet."

 

"Ben have you looked outside?" She pointed to the window. "I am not going to the beach!" She said forcefully.

 

"We'll see!" I grinned at her.

 

"No way!"

 

After we checked out we went for a little stroll through the town. I know Anika did me a favour and she really did nit want to so this. So eventually I gave in and took her to a pub where we spent several hours having lunch and lots of hot teas and coffees. Suddenly through the window I saw the sky had cleared up a little. This was my opportunity.

 

"C'mon. Lets go to the beach!" I said excitedly. 

 

"Ben I swear to god. I ... am ... not ... going ... to ... the ...beach!" I gave her the best puppy look I could give her.

 

"Pleeeeeeease!?!"

 

"God, I hate when you do this. NO!"

 

"Pleeeeeease?" I asked in a higher pitched voice immitating Stewie Griffin. I made her giggle normally when I did that.

 

"Nein!"

 

"Bitte, für mich!" She let out a sigh of annoyance..

 

"Ok 5 minutes and if I get a cold you will pay for this."

 

So we left the pub abd headed to the beach that was only a short distance away. There I found what I was looking for no people and lots of pebbles. Like a little child I ran to the water giggling.

 

"Oh my god, what are you doing!" She called after me. I grabbed a few flat stones from the sand and started skipping them over the water.

 

"Gosh. This is so childish." She normally was up for this sort of thing so she clearly must have felt miserable.

 

"C'mon try." I handed her a stone and she grabbed it. Threw it without caring much into the water and gave me a look that questioned whether I have lost it. "Try again." I encouraged her. This time she put an efford in to throw it as far as she could. It looked quite impressive actually. "Oh c'mon you are not even trying. You are supposed to skip them." 

 

She ranted in German which made me giggle. Then she picked up a stone and made and attempt to skip it over the water but failed horribly. I picked one up.

 

"Here try this one!" she did and this one was a little better. I handed her a few more and she got better.

 

When she wasn't looking while she picked a few more stones from the sand i opened my jacket slightly and reached for the inside pocket carefully avoiding her noticing what I had just pulled out. When she was done with the stones in her hand, I quickly handed her what I just pulled out of my jacket..

 

"How about this one?" She clearly wasn't paying attention to what she was holding in her hand. And for a split second I paniced and saw mysekf wading through the freezing water attempting to find this again. But before she threw it she realised the odd shape and texture of it.

 

"What the hell?" and now she looked at what I just placed in her hand. "Oh my god!" She clapped her free hand over her mouth in shock over the black little velvet box in her hand. Suddenly she started crying bitterly. "I don't deserve this." Woah where was this coming from? 

 

"You have been so lovely and sweet all day and here I am moaning and bitching at you. I really don't deserve you." I took the box from her hand and pulled her into a hug. When she had calmed down a little I slightly pushed her away still holding on to her shoulders. 

 

"Listen to me Liebling! You have not been bitching. Yes, moaning a little. However, I have been quite an arse dragging you out there in this freezing cold." A tear ran down her cheek and I was also welling up.

 

"Anika, I love you and I want to make you happy for the rest of your life. I love your sometimes crazy little German habits you have. I love your humour and your sweet ways of making my heart skip a beat and I do not want to miss that ever again. I want to grow old with you and lots of little Anikas and Benedicts with you."

 

I let go of her shoulders and nearly dropped the box which made her laugh a little. I got down on one knee which I immediately regretted as my jeans were getting soaked on the spot that hit the sand but right now i didn't care. I took her left hand.

 

"Anika Pfeiffer! Make me the happiest man on earth. Willst du mich heiraten?"

 

She let out a joyfully crying laugh and nodded. I got up.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Yes! I will!" I pulled her into a tight hug as tears ran both down our cheeks and we kissed. As we did I lifted her of the ground and spun her around. After I sat her down again I finally opened the box and she kissed me again.

 

"Wow, it's beautiful." I took it out and placed it on her finger and indeed it fit perfectly. "Thank you."

 

"No thank you for putting up with me today and in the future."

 

"By the way! Do I want to know how you know my exact ring size?"

 

"I don't think so!" I laughed

 

"Go on, humour me!"

 

"Your dad told me."

 

"Ah I see!" Suddenly it sunk in what I just said. "Wait! He knows?" 

 

"Yes he does. I had to ask his permission, didn't I?"

 

"Erm I hate to break this to you but I am 34 years old." She laughed.

 

"But you are still his daughter and it was important to me."

 

"When did you even ask him?"

 

"Christmas Eve when you were all in bed already." 

 

"Wow! And he kept this a secret?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Had my mother known she woukd have certainly let something slip by accident." I laughed.

 

"Speaking of mothers. How do you want to break this to our mothers?"

 

"Right now!"

 

"What?"

 

"I call yours and you call mine."

 

"Controversial but why not?"

 

I first called Anika's mother and the squeal I received from hear nearly busted my eardrums when I told her. She talked a little bit more to Anika and she promised we would visit soon.

 

"My turn!" Anika pulled out her phone and picked the number from her contact list. It took a moment for her to pick up. "Wanda! Hi! It's me! ... Yes we are ok ... Listen! How do you fancy another daughter in your family? ... Or rather daughter-in-law?" There was a long pause. "Wanda?" Suddenly my mother let out a squeal that even I could hear standing next to the phone. "Yes he just asked me! ... Oh you have no idea. ... I'm over the moon. ... Yes sure!" Anika handed the phone to me.

 

"Hi Mum!"

 

"Oh my sweet boy. Well done. Your dad and I delighted."

 

"Hi Ben!" I could hear my dad. "That's lovely news!"

 

"Thank you!" We talked a little longer and after I hung up Anika hugged and kissed me again. It started getting dark and so we got back to our rental car and looked for a little cafe where we had some celebratory cake before heading to the airport.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the big announcement is coming up. I loved how it was made the old fashioned way using the newspapers for it so I chose to go down the same route but with a slightly different announcement text. Read for yourself

We had been back for a few days and we had not told anyone yet except our parents and immediate family.

 

My parents and also Anika's parents insisted to place a newspaper announcement in London and in Anika's hometown.

 

We had no idea when it would be released but we asked them to ensure both each other that they were released on the same day. It was four days after our engagement that suddenly while we were still in bed deep asleep, Anika's phone didn't stop buzzing on her night stand. It sounded like she was receiving millions of measages.

 

"Woah what is this?" Anika complained and turned around which made me moan as it was suddenly freezing. "Sorry darling!" She grabbed the phone. "Oh!"

 

"What?" I mumbled into the pillow. It was way too early for my liking. 

 

"Look for yourself." I turned around and what I was looking at was a Whatsapp message with a photo of a newspaper announcement

 

\--------------------------------------

Ruth und Peter Pfeifer freuen sich, die Verlobung ihrer Tochter Anika Josefine Pfeiffer mit Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch bekanntgeben zu dürfen.

\--------------------------------------

 

"Kurz und schmerzlos! Nice!" Was all I could and needed to say.

 

"I guess your parents' one will be in the Times?"

 

"It better be!" I laughed.

 

We decided to get up and have breakfast. While we were getting everything ready Anika's mobile rang. It was her mother and something didn't seem to be right when she hung up.

 

"What's going on?"

 

"Newspaper released the announcement too early." 

 

"Oh!"

 

"Yeah you can say that again!" She laughed.

 

"What's the worst that can happen?"

 

"It takes one fan to see and post it somewhere."

 

"What are the odds of that happening?" She gave me a questioning look. I walked over and kissed her to distract her. Her phone however didn't shut up buzzing. So while eating she went through the list of messages.

 

"Wow, I didn't even remember all these people cared about me!" It turned out a lot of her school friends had also written. She had exchanged numbers with most of then at her class reunion last year. Also members from her parents church where Anika was also a member since she was 19 and until she left to move to Berlin wrote. The cutest one was her god-daughter who I had not met yet. She sent a cute video of her, her two other siblings and parents at the breakfast table sending their congratulations.

 

Two hours later Anika was on her way to college and I was busying myself studying a script in the living room when the phone rang.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Ben! Hi! It's Daniel."

 

"Hi! How are you?"

 

"I'm great and I will be feel even better if you tell me what I just received on Twitter is true."

 

"What?" 

 

"Matthias Schweighöfer just posted a newspaper clipping on twitter." Oh god.

 

"Who is this guy?"

 

"Really? Are you sure Anika didn't make you watch any of his movies?"

 

"No idea. So who is he."

 

"An actor who has become quite famlus over the past few years in Germany. Anika went to school with him they are good friends. He must have been home for a change. He normally lives in Berlin as well."

 

"Ok!"

 

"So is it true?" I laughed.

 

"Of course it is." I said joyfully.

 

"Oh congratulations mate. Great news!" After I hung up, my phone almost immediately rang again.

 

"Hi Karon!"

 

"Ben, I fear twitter may crash in a moment. You are the most trending hashtag at the moment. What the hell does this announcement say that keeps being reposted?"

 

"Are you sitting down?" 

 

"No! But I am now!"

 

"I have good news and slightly bad bews which require your mad PR skills."

 

"Okay!?! Give me the good news."

 

"Anika and I are engaged." I received a squeal from her.

 

"The bad news is that my parents were supposed to make one as well but not until tomorrow. Anika's parents one was released to early."

 

"Ah ok. So far the German fanbase hasn't yet made a post in English and English speaking fans are guessing still why your hashtag is being used a lot by German speakers at the moment. This thing is all over instagram as well so brace yourself. They will find out at some point today. If the one of your parents is going out tomorrow then I think we just sit this out and hooe the internet will do it's thing as usual and saves me a lot of time and hassle." I laughed.

 

"Ok, thank you!"

 

"Congratulations again and give my best to Anika."

 

"I will."

 

Soon after I got a text from Daniel.

 

"Just spoke to Matthias and it turns out he was delighted to announce his friends engagement and by the time he realised that your name was on it, it was too late and it went a little viral. He is deeply sorry."

 

"Tell him no to worry. It's ok we are sorting it."

 

In the afternoon I took the car to do a little shopping for tonight's dinner. I turned on the radio and there was currently a heated discussion going on.

 

"So we asked our sports expert who speaks fluent German and we can now reveal what this announcement says that was released in a German newspaper this morning. Thank you again Matthias for posting it. Whoever you are. So the announcement reads ... Cumbercollective you better find a seat quickly ... Oh wow! ... Ruth and Peter Pfeiffer are delighted to announce the engagement of their daughter Anika Josefine Pfeiffer to Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch."

 

"Nooooo!" I heard someone else mockingly cry in desperation. "Right, i'm on the roof for a moment." I had to laugh.

 

From then onwards the news went global. It was even on the news and our phone didn't stop ringing. 

 

The next morning the Times printed the following announcement

 

\------------------------------------

Wanda and Timothy Cumberbatch of London are delighted to announce the engagement of their son Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch to Anika Josefine Pfeiffer, daughter of Ruth and Peter Pfeiffer of Chemnitz.

\------------------------------------

 

Well the news was out and we were best pleased that my fan base had been quite suppoertive according to my friends who had twitter and also shared their delight at the announcement. It was once again the media who put the fans down as potentially going mental over it. 

 

Unfortunately Anika had a few haters which made me furious. Since I knew people had found out her name last year this had been going on. Karon had told us. But this time Karon told me that any hater out there was immedialy shot down by supportive fans of mine. It was quite sweet. Karon also revealed that people finally worked out that the girl I kissed during the World Cup final was the same girl as the one I was going to marry. 

 

"Well that took them long enough!" Anika laughed. "So Ben I've been thinking. And please let me know if it's too early. I would like my friend and former minister to marry us."

 

"Why him?" i asked curiously.

 

"Because he was the one who baptized me when I was 19, he has been through the difficult time with Karl with me and he speaks fluent English and German so he will be perfect for a bilingual wedding."

 

"Ok, if you want him go ask him." I hugged and kissed her."And while you are at it, ask him how many seats are in his church." She looked at me in shock and tears were welling up in her eyes. 

 

"I know i know, I'm not Christian and I only go to churches for weddings, funerals and Christenings but I really want to do this for you. It's important to me that we get a blessing and marry in God's house so we may as well do it in the church you grew up in." She pulled me into a tight hug and kissed me. 

 

"Thank you." I smiled. "You do however realise that we have to get married twice then?"

 

"What?" 

 

"Church weddings are not legally binding in Germany. You need to first marry at a registry office."

 

"Well I'd marry you a thousand times!" She laughed." We both laughed.


	23. Chapter 23

The day had finally arrived. It was the 8th October 2016. We had decided to get married so soon after the engagement as Anika was really keen that her friend and former minister would hold the wedding for us but he would by the end of October leave the country to go into mission for a few years and this was our only chance to have him do it .

I flew in yesterday and afternoon. I was doing a film in the US and this took 5 weeks. Anika and I had decided not to see each other until we met at the altar. We coped for 5 weeks so would have also coped for another day. 

Anika’s dad picked me up at the airport where Martin, my best man and my friends where already awaiting me. I didn’t get a chance to even breathe but I was keen that the majority were already here and we could have a good time together. We moved straight on to the hotel bar for some drinks and right now I was regretting it. I was tired and hungover. 

“Nothing an Aspirin won’t cure!” Martin suggested. We stayed in the same suite which would later tonight become Anika’s and my honeymoon suite at the hotel I had first stayed in when I came to see her play many years ago.

“Unless you want to kill me and I swear, Anika you hunt you down if you do, you better get me something else.” He gave me a questioning look. “Forgot? I’m allergic to that stuff.”

“Ah, let me go and talk to the concierge. I’m sure he can organise something else.”

“Thank you!” I used this opportunity to jump under the shower, freshen up and make myself somewhat presentable. I was now glad that this was an afternoon wedding and it was only 8 AM.

Anika was getting ready at her parent’s house. As I stepped out of the shower I noticed that I already had a few text messages that all came from my mum, Amanda and Anika’s mum Ruth that pretty much checked up on me to ensure that I was up and getting myself sorted out.

“I hope Martin went easy on you last night!” Amanda replied after I responded to her message.

Me: “Well, let’s say I had worse hangovers before.”

Amanda: “You better sober up then :)”

Me: “I was planning to do that. Anika will kill me otherwise.”

Amanda: “She actually might.”

Me: “How is she by the way?”

Amanda: “Little nervous but otherwise great! Her stomach was playing up.”

Me: “That nervous? Wow. Remind her, she is already officially married to me. This is the fun part.” 

Anika and I had gotten married at the registry two days before I had to go to the US to film for a new movie I was casted for. So officially we were already married for 5 weeks. We had broken the news to a few close friends and of course our parents that we had married. It was important to us that they are there with us for the church wedding and we wanted to do the legal part of it on our own. However, our mothers didn’t quite agree with it at the beginning. But pretty quickly calmed down again when they saw Anika the final fitting for her dress. I couldn’t wait to see her in it today. I didn’t get the slightest hints from anyone what she had gone for and I couldn’t even imagine what she would choose.

Amanda: “I will! See you later.”

Ben: “Thanks, see you later!”

Martin returned with some Ibuprofen a while later. Once we had some breakfast I started feeling a lot better and mid-day the wedding photographer turned up.

“Got the bridal party done?” I asked him. He nodded.

“All wrapped up. Yes!” We had arranged that he would spend the day first with Anika’s family and friends and then move over to the hotel. 

“Excellent!” I looked over to Martin. “Have you got any idea where the other guys are?”

“Don’t know. I go and get them.” 

Anika had decided just to go for a best man and a maid of honour. Which was quite unusual for a British wedding but there were too many on my list that I would have wanted on my groomsmen list so this was the easiest choice. Anika quite appreciated this as well, she had the same issue. So she then asked her sister to be her maid of honour. 

Soon my friends who were also mainly colleagues, who we had booked several rooms for at the hotel as well as they arrived from abroad, turned up in my room and made a brain shattering noise.

“Guys! Can you pipe down? My head still hasn’t quite recovered.” They all laughed and we started taking pictures in the room. We were soon were on our way to the church in a coach we had hired for all guests staying here. It was only a 10 minute drive away and the photographer continued to take pictures on the bus and outside the church. The guys really did enjoy themselves but I was keen to get inside.

“Excuse me guys.” I said and walked into the church checked out the church room. I had not been involved in much of the organisation of the wedding and was keen to see what the church room looked like and I was gobsmacked. “Wow!” Was all I could say.

“Looks amazing. Doesn’t it?” I jumped and turned around. “James!” I pulled my old friend into a hug. 

“Big day’s finally here!” I smiled.

“Thanks for doing this for us today.” 

“Oh it’s a pleasure and honour!” He pulled me into a hug now when he saw I was getting a little emotional.

“Ben!” I turned around and the minister was here as well all ready in dog collar and everything. “Good to see you made it.” 

“You are going to wear that later?” I asked him jokingly. He laughed realising that I was talking about the reception. Anika and I thought it appropriate that we invited him to the wedding reception as well.

“Anika, your mum and Ruth did a great job setting up yesterday.”

“I know. It looks beautiful.”

Suddenly a girl walked up to us. I thought I recognised her but wasn’t so sure where from.

“Oh Lea, are you ready?” James asked, she nodded nervously. Now I remembered. It was Anika’s god-daughter. She was 13 and quite a talented violinist. Anika had asked her if she was willing to support James with the music and she happily agreed. 

“Lea!” She looked at me. “Schön dich kennenzulernen. Ich bin Ben.” She smiled widely.

“Ich weiß!” She responded and I pulled her into a hug. This was the first time I met her. Every time I was back in Germany over last few months, she and her family weren’t available to meet them. 

“Danke, dass du James heute hilfst.” 

“Das mache ich gerne, besonders für Anika.” She laughed, I once again hugged her and she then looked at James. I have no idea how these two got on with only having to speak English. I knew James didn’t speak German. This was remarkable.

Soon the church started filling up with our guests. James was already busying on the piano playing some light tunes in the background while everyone arrived. There was also a band who, Anika told me, would be accompanying us during the songs we had chosen. I had to miss the rehearsal but was given the run-through of the service via email and skype and luckily Martin was at hand who attended the rehearsal so in case I got stuck could help out. 

“They are on their way! Amanda just sent a text.” He told me a while later. I knew it would take them about 5 minutes to get here. So we slowly walked to the front and I shook a few hands on the way down to the altar. We sat on one the benches on the first row. Now I was getting nervous too and understood why Anika felt the same. This was quite a big step but there were no regrets whatsoever. The minister came down the aisle a few minutes later, grinning widely. 

“They are here!” He clapped his hand on my shoulder and walked to the front. I turned around and saw my mum, dad and Anika’s mum walk down the aisle to find their seats. Also the other girls who had joined Anika at her parent’s house this morning where now finding their seats. Amanda walked all the way to the front and briefly hugged me and then sat down next to Martin in the front row. I stood up and walked to the centre of the room in front of the altar. My mum walked up to me, hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. She had tears in her eyes.

“I love you son! Good luck!” I smiled.

Suddenly James stopped the music he had played lightly in the background. I knew this was it, we were about to start. 

I turned towards the back of the church and I saw Grace with a flower basket infront of Luise, Anika’s sister standing at the back. Grace and Luise both wore a beautiful dress burgundy red dresses. 

“Please stand for the arrival of the bride!” I heard the minister say and Martin now stood next to me grinning widely placing his hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

Suddenly James started playing again. Anika and I had asked him to surprise us and choose the song for her walking down the aisle and the two of us leaving the church. I quickly recognised the [tune [click to check it out]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEVW8vsjedY) and was quite moved.

I watched Grace as she glided towards the front spreading flower petals all over the floor. She gave me a wide grin and blew me and her dad a kiss before sitting down next to Amanda. Luise followed and soon stood to the side of us.

Anika stepped closer holding on to her dad’s hand and took my breath away - I started welling up. Not only because I had missed her but because she looked stunning. Her [dress [click to check it out]](http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/1093467307/white-a-line-tea-length-closed-back-applique-jewel-short-sleeves-wedding-dresses-bride-dress.jpg) represented what I loved her for. It was beautiful and surprising. The last I would have expected her is to wear this kind of a dress but it suited her beautifully. 

I was grinning from ear to ear as tears were running down my cheeks. She was beaming and somehow I noticed her face was plumber slightly rounder. Of course I wouldn’t tell her but she had gained a little weight which I put down to stress of the preparations but it wasn’t bad, in fact, it suited her. It wasn’t much but noticeable.

She walked towards me and my grin grew wider. She also was crying but smiling as she reached me she almost flew into my arms. She kissed my neck and cried. These five weeks now felt like an eternity and I do not know how I possibly survived this. So was I no longer able to stop myself and cried with her in my arms. As the song finished we let go of each other.

“I missed you!” I whispered into her ear. Luise handed her a tissue and she gratefully took and wiped her eyes. From the corner of my eyes I could see that my mother was already in bits and the ceremony hadn’t even started yet. 

“Ready?” The minister asked us. We both nodded.

“Dear friends and family, we have gathered here today to witness and bless the union in marriage of Anika and Benedict. To this sacred moment they bring the fullness of their hearts as a treasure and a gift from God to share with one another. They bring the dreams which bind them together in an eternal commitment. They bring their gifts and talents, their unique personalities and spirits, which God will unite together into one being as they build their life together. Let us all rejoice with them in thankfulness to the Lord for creating this union of hearts, built on friendship, respect and love.”

I took Anika’s hand and squeezed it. 

It was a beautiful service and the songs turned out to be well chosen. All the guest joined in and it sounded amazing alongside the band, James and Anika’s god-daughter. The sermon would probably stick with me for the rest of my life and we ended up with our first wedding gift which was a huge family sized multi coloured umbrella which the minister had used as an image of god’s protection of our life, love, marriage and home we shared. It was beautifully done and the kids present certainly enjoyed it.

He signalled the two of us to stand up again and face each other. I took Anika’s hands into mine and he now stepped in front of us.

“Benedict … repeat after me …” He gave me this questioning look and I knew he was wordlessly asking me whether I was sure about what I was about to do but I just nodded quietly. “Anika Josefine Pfeiffer, vor Gottes Angesicht nehme ich, Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, dich an zu meiner Frau.” The shock in Anika’s face made me smile. I had not told her that I would pull this off nor that I had been memorising these words for weeks now. I squeezed her hand.  
“Anika Josefine Pfeiffer, vor Gottes Angesicht nehme ich, Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, dich zu meiner Frau.” I repeated. She took a sharp breath and the minister stopped for a moment to give her a chance to regain a little composure. She let out a sob and looked at me with tears in her eyes. 

“Ich verspreche dir die Treue.”  
“Ich verspreche dir die Treue.”

“In guten und bösen Tagen.”  
“In guten und bösen Tagen.”

“In Gesundheit und Krankheit.”  
“In Gesundheit und Krankheit.”

“Bis der Tod uns scheidet.”  
“Bis der Tod uns scheidet.”

“Ich will dich lieben,”  
“Ich will dich lieben,”

“achten und ehren”  
“achten und ehren”

“alle Tage meines Lebens.”  
“alle Tage meines Lebens.”

By the time I finished my vows she was crying now and pulled me into a hug letting out a few sobs, before she kissed my cheek and then released me. She took a calming breath. Her friend grinningly handed her a tissue. Anika was convinced she wouldn’t need any. I guess her friend knew better. She nodded at him, indicating that she was ready for her turn.

“Anika, repeat after me … Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, in God’s presence, do I, Anika Josefine Pfeiffer, take you to be my husband.” Her beautiful eyes were fixed on mine.  
“Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, in God’s presence, do I, Anika Josefine Pfeiffer, take you to be my husband.”

“I promise to be true to you.”  
“I promise to be true to you.”

“In good times and in bad.”  
“In good times and in bad.”

“In Sickness and in Health.”  
“In Sickness and in Health.” 

“Until death parts us.”  
“Until death parts us.”

“I will love,”  
“I will love,”

“honor and cherish,”  
“honor and cherish,”

“all days of my live!”  
“all days of my live!”

I lifted her right hand I held ever so tightly and kissed it. With her thumb she wiped the tear that escaped my eye. I smiled at her and so did she.

“Who has the rings?” Martin, who sat right behind us stood up and handed the rings over. The minister blessed the rings and handed Anika’s ring to me and I gently placed it on her finger. “Benedict, repeat after me … Ich gebe dir diesen Ring,”  
“Ich gebe dir diesen Ring,” 

“als Zeichen meiner Liebe”  
“als Zeichen meiner Liebe”

“und mit allem was ich bin”  
“und mit allem was ich bin,”

“allem was ich habe,”  
“allem was ich habe,”

“will ich dich ehren.”  
“will ich dich ehren.”

“Im Namen des Vaters, des Sohnes und des Heiligen Geistes.”  
“Im Namen des Vaters, des Sohnes und des Heiligen Geistes.”

Once again I lifted her hand and kissed the spot that now was carrying her wedding band. Which she answered with a watery smile. Anika was handed my ring and placed it on my finger.

“Anika, repeat after me … I give you this ring”  
“I give you this ring”

“as a symbol of my love,”  
“as a symbol of my love,”

“and with all that I am,”  
“and with all that I am,”

“all that I have,”  
“all that I have,”

“I will honour you.”  
“I will honour you.”

“In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”  
“In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

He asked us to kneel on the little prayer benches in front of us.

“Knowing that the two of you got engaged in Ireland. The following blessing only seems most fitting for you two.” We bowed our heads and he placed a hand on our heads.

“May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face. And the rain fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again my friends. May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.”

We both looked up and he gestured us to get up again. I lent Anika my hand to help her get up again. She smiled widely at me.

“Anika and Benedict, you have each chosen to be joined in marriage today. In my presence and in the presence of your family and friends, you have exchanged vows and made your promises. You have opened your hearts to one another, declared your love and friendship, and have united yourself with the exchanging of rings. Therefore, with the blessings of God, it is my great pleasure to now pronounce you husband and wife.” He looked at me. “Benedict, you may now kiss your bride!” 

He took a step backwards smiling widely and I didn’t have to be told twice. I wrapped my arms around her and Anika placed her hands on each side of my face and as we kissed the whole church erupted in the huge noise of cheers and applause.

In all this noise we barely noticed that a [song [click to check it out]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfPTC7-wCL8) had started playing. Anika and I looked at James in shock but he just gave us a wide grin. That was our signal. It was time to start moving down the aisle together.


	24. Chapter 24

A little surprise was waiting outside the church which neither Anika and I knew of once we were all gathered outside there were hundreds of red heart shaped balloons hovring over the ground currently held down by little weights. Everyone grabbed one and Anika and I received one that was triple the size of the baloons they had. Our balloon said 

 

"A + B = Match made in Heaven!!"

 

Everyone elses baloon had a card on them however we were not allowed to look what was on them. Everyone removed the weights.

 

"At the count of three!" Luise shouted over everyone's heads. "Release the baloons in ...1..." Everyone joined in.

 

"...2...3" there was a loud cheer a everyone let go of their baloons. I kissed Anika as we let go of the one we held together. 

 

"Are you ok?" I asked her concerned. She suddenky looked like she ws about to be sick. She nodded.

 

"Yeah fine. Just a nervous stomach. The last fe lw day were quite hectic." Suddenly she punched me in the shoulder.

 

"Ow!"

 

"Thanks for telling me about the German vowels." She laughed.

 

"Wouldn't have been a surprise if I did." I leaned in to kiss her. 

 

"No more crazy surprises then?" Oh oh. I would be in trouble then later. The photographer took several pictures for another hour but there was one favour we asked our minister to do. This was confirmed with Karon to go ahead and he had been briefed on it too. Karon actually found the idea quite sweet.

 

"Ready for this?" The minister asked us and we nodded. He handed his phone to the photographer and he took several shots of on the phone of just the three of us.

 

We picked a good picture of the three of us. Tomorrow when it was all over he would post the following on instagram:

 

"Yesterday, I had the great pleasure and honour to marry off my good friends. Many congratulations to #BenedictCumberbatch and #AnikaCumberbatch"

 

Oh yes, Anika had taken on my last name. I tried to convince her to at least to use both and her's and mine and even I was willing to also take her last name as well but she wanted to show the world that she had my heart and I had hers which also meant she was happily giving up her name to carry mine and in she was a little traditionalist that way.

 

Suddenly there was an odd noise behind us and everyone laughed.

 

"You didn't!" Anika looked in me in shock as she noticed what just drove onto the church yard.

 

"You had one task to do and you pull off this?"

 

The cause of her outrage was a [trabant [click to check it out]](https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7229/7254143596_a82f36cddc_z.jpg) that had been converted into a cabriolet. She obviosly didn't find it funny. Considering she was born in the GDR and these cars filled the streets at the time I thought it wa a nice surprise. So did her dad and mine. Luise and Ruth did not think so and obviously they knew Anika too well.

 

Everyone else found this car quite sweet and the driver who brought the car was surrounded by interested guests especially those from the UK and the US. 

 

I pulled Anika into a hug. 

 

"I let you drive." I said to her and kissed her. 

 

"Oh yes you will. That's the least you can do." She looked at me and smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

 

The photographer took a few more pictures of the two of us in the car after everyone had left to be taken to the reception venue. Finally we alone for a moment after also the photographer drove to the venue. I pulled her into a hug and kissed her over and over again.

 

"They are waiting." Anika said with a giggle in between kisses.

 

"Don't care!" Was my response. 

 

Eventually we were on our way to a neighbouring village. The venue was an old off the track country inn that her friend had bought and so lovingly restored. The food was beautiful here and it had several large rooms that offered enough space for our reception and had several rooms to allow some of thr guests to stay over night as well so we booked the entire venue for the weekend. 

 

When we arrived her friend was already waiting outside. He had chosen to ensure that the event preparations were running smoothly so did not attend the wedding itself. As Anika stopped the car, I got out, walked around the car and opened the door for her. She held out her hand and I helped her step out of the car. 

 

Her friend stepped clower and hugged us both. He walked back into the place and gave us another moment. We walked inside as well and stood infront of the closed double door where the receptiom was held. Anika's friend came out again.

 

"Ready?" He opened both doors and hr stepped away.

 

"Ladies and gentleman, I give you Mr and Mrs. Cumberbatch." We heard someone say over the microphone and we walked into the centre of the room. Soon the music we had chosen started playing and we danced for the first time as a married couple. I leaned in to kiss her but something wasn't right. 

 

"Are you ok?" 

 

"Yeah yeah! Just the horrible fumes from the car. I will be fine."

 

She was right the stink the car's exhaust was producing wasn't that pleasant. She looked white like a sheet but finished the dance and held out a little longer. After we sat down Amanda, Ruth and my mum kept looking at her in concern and then Amanda got up and returned with a long flat box that was wrapped up.

 

She handed me the box and also looked at our mums as well who smiled and she signalled us to follow her.

 

"Listen you two. I have been having a suspicion for a few days now and considering that how tmdesperately you two want this, especially you Ben. I suggest you find yourself a quiet bathroom and open this." She smiled at me.

 

"What are you talking about?" We both asked her.

 

"Anika you are showing all the signs."

 

"What signs?" I asked. My mum spoke up.

 

"Darling I've been thinking that for a while too but I think you were too busy to notice over these last weeks." She pulled Anika into a hug. The penny suddenly dropped with Anika and she clapped her hand over her mouth in shock.

 

"Notice what?" I asked slightly annoyed. I grabbed the box and ripped the wrapping paper off.

 

"Oh!" I was not expecting that and suddenly it all made sense and tears started welling up in my eyes and suddemly my eyes shot to Anikas belly. The little weight she had gained made total sense all of a sudden. My hand shot to her belly and I was shocked to find behind all the fabric I could already feel a tiny bump. I looked at her in shock.

 

"I don't think we need a test " Ruth laughed in tears. "I have been trying to tell you for weeks now that you should take a test but eventually I thought you alreaady knew but wanted not to tell anyone yet." Anika shook her head and a tear rolled down her cheek. 

 

"I had no idea. I put down all thr symptoms down to stress. I hadn't had my period twice now, come to think of it." I pulled her into a tight hug and cried. Siddenly we were alone outside the reception hall and kissed for ages.

 

"You alright guys?" It was Chris Pine who almost made us jump and we both nodded. Trying hard to hide the test from him between us. He walked outside for a smoke and we disappeares into the nearest bathroom. And locked it. The teo of us looked at each other and laughed.

 

"I can't believe I ignored all the symptoms." I pulled her into my arms and then handed over the test.

 

"I will be waiting outside for you." She nodded. I was quite glad the bathroom was out of view and no one needed to use it right now. Five minutes later the door opened again and in tears she gestured me to come in. She locked the door again and showed me the test lying on the sink. The digital displqy showed one word I was so desperate to see.

 

"Schwanger"

 

We both cried by this point and kissed for ages. A sudden knock on the door pulled us out of reality.

 

She wrapped the test in toilet paper and burried it in the nearest bin. The questioning loom we received from Tom Hiddleston when we walked out was priceless.

 

We walked back to our table and the good news must have been written all over our faces. Amanda, Ruth and my mum jumped up and the three hugged us both. 

 

"What was that all about?" I heard Martin ask.

 

"No idea!" Luise answered with a laugh.


	25. Chapter 25

For our honeymoon we decided to just take a car and see where it takes us. We were planning to head south for at least two weeks. Anika's parents had kindly agreed to lend us their second car and so there was no rush to take off right away. 

 

Sunday was a very relaxed day. We had the wedding venue until Sunday evening so Anika and I had invited everyone for a post-wedding breakfast on Sunday morning for our family and friends who would not be flying home until later that day or Monday morning and from the looks of it most of them needed a good hearty breakfast. Anika's friend who ran the place gladly agreed to offer a fry-up to everyone who needed one.

 

Except for our parents, very close family, Amanda and Martin, no-one knew of our exciting news yet. 

 

When Anika and I had returned to the hotel we were staying in, she did some maths and her guess was that she was 10 to 11 weeks into her pregancy. I was very glad she was that far along as this meant we wouldn't have to keep it a secret for much longer. When it came to my mum, she would love to shout the news from the roof tops - she was that excited. 

 

Anika's sister had managed to speak to a friend who was a nurse at a local gynaecologist practise. Normally Anika's health insurance didn't cover such appointments abroad unless in an emergency but she managed to sort her an appointment on Monday morning. I did not want to know how she did it but I was keen to find out everything was ok before we went on our trip and did not want to return to the UK yet. 

 

After breakfast we started sending the first people on their way and we stayed a little longer to help clear up. I learned pretty quickly not to mess with Anika about what she thought she couldn't handle during this pregnancy. She was not impressed when I told her to take it easy. So I quickly kept my mouth shut. 

 

Later in the afternoon I got a call from Karon.

 

"Hi! How are you doing?"

 

"We are elated!" I grinned like a kid on Christmas.

 

"Great. I actually just called to let you know that the picture has just been released an hour ago."

 

"Ok! How are people taking it?"

 

"Not too bad actually. The comments are very lovely and the picture has since moved onto Twitter and Facebook and some news pages already got wind of it as well. They are quite supportive for a change." 

 

"Excellent!"

 

"Ben, I need to ask you though. There seems to be this rumour out there that Anika has gained weight in the picture and the fans and media are already guessing that she might be pregnant."

 

"Oh!" I gestured Anika to follow me into a room next door. "One second!" Anika got up and followed me.

 

"What's going on?" She whispered. I pressed the speaker button.

 

"Karon you are on speaker. Anika is with me now."

 

"Oh ... OH!!! ... So it's true?"

 

"Is what true?" Anika asked curiously.

 

"Your picture was released ... by the way the dress is stunning - you looked gorgeous!"

 

"Thank you. So is what true?"

 

"People seem to think that you are expecting." Anika let out an annoyed sigh.

 

"How come everyobe noticed except for me."

 

"So it is true?" Karon asked in excitement.

 

"Well the test said it is and I have a few symptoms that now that I know what's going on, are quite obvious." 

 

"Oh I hope for you two it's true. Are you seing a doctor before you go on holiday?" That's why I loved Karon. She drove me nuts sometimes but when it mattered she was so loving and caring and it was great. I really appreciated her in moments like this.

 

"Yes, first thing tomorrow morning."

 

"Awww! I hope all is well. This is great news for you two."

 

"We call you tomorrow and then talk further about it."

 

"Just to confirm - as usual - no confirmation until you say so?"

 

"Absolutely!" Anika and I said in unison. 

 

We talked a little longer and then got back to our guests.

 

I couldn't sleep all I night. I was too excited and a little anxious, hoping everything was alright.

 

I woke up in the morning and watched my beautiful sleeping wife. She was lying on her back and had again like almost every night moved so much during the night that the duvet was now at the foot of the bed. I watched her breathing in and out calmly and her tiny bump moving up and down. The thought of a little human being in there made me smile. I placed my hand on her belly gently and leaned over her,  slightly pushed her shirt up and placed a kiss just over her belly button. I heard Anika sigh contently and I kissed her belly again and smiled. I looked up and watched her opening her eyes slowly.

 

"Good morning my dear husband!" I moved up to lean over her head and kissed her.

 

"Good morning my darling!" 

 

"Are you ready to meet our baby today." I smiled widely at her.

 

"I think no-one is more ready than I am." She placed her hand on my cheek.

 

"I love you!" She told me.

 

"I love you more!"

 

"Not possible!" She teased and grinned at her. 

 

"Ready for some breakfast?" I asked her and she nodded.

 

Two hours later we made our way to the doctor's office. Anika checked herself in at the reception desk and soon after was taken into a separate room. I understood something about a blood tests. This was the first time that I had been somewhere in Germany where people were reluctant to speak English. It was a little irritating to me considering how important this was. Anika came back a little while later. She held the crook of her left arm.

 

"All done?" She nodded and placed her hand on my thigh. 

 

I was quite glad we seemed to be the first ones here. I had to thank Luise later. I think she had ensured of that. I was certain it was thanks to her.

 

"Frau Coomberbagh?" Oh my word. The way that lady at the front desk pronounced our last name made me wince in agony. We both got up she told us to go through.

I couldn't help but giggle when she noted that it was an interesting name and asked whether she pronounced it correctly. Anika and I really tried hard no to burst laughing and just decided to nod away.

 

We walked in and found an elderly doctor behind a desk. She briefly made us sit down at her desk and announced that indeed we were expecting our first child. Anika grabbed my hand and I liftet it to kiss it. She checked with Anika for any symptoms and from what I understood Anika didn't do too badly with the symptoms. She had to touch on the sensible topic that Anika had a baby before and that she had a c-section but Anika coped well when she told her what happened. I saw the doctor's face drop when Anika mentioned the circumstances of the birth at the time. Maybe to change the topic she looked at me.

 

"I am terribly sorry. Do you even understand German?" She asked me.

 

"A little but English would be lovely if you can!" She smiled at me.

 

"No problem. I studied in Cambridge so this should be fine."

 

"Wow, really?" Anika asked in surprise.

 

"Yes, my dad is British, my mother is German and I spent most of my youth in the UK but my husband is from her so we decided to move here a few years ago."

 

"Wow the world is small." Anika laughed. 

 

"Indeed it is." She remarked absentmindedly as she checked the form and her eyes grew wide when she checked the form. She looked at me and checked the form again and once again looked at me. For a split second I decided to run with Anika but I remembered that there is this thing called doctor-patient confidentiality.

 

"Ok then lets take a look at that baby of yours." She stood up and we followed her and she asked Anika to lie down on the examination table. Anika lifted her shirt.

 

"I think we will be fine with a scan of your tummy." She smiled. "Have you been quite distracted lately?" She asked Anika. 

 

"Yes! I've been rather busy lately organising our wedding." She answered with an embarrased voice. "I'm sorry."

 

"My dear, don't be. I've seen a some turn up here being A LOT further along than you are. And the end of the day you had good reason." Anika smiled. "When was the big day?" 

 

"Two days ago!" we both answered proudly in unison. 

 

"Oh wow. What a beautiful wedding gift this must be then." She remarked looking at me. I nodded smiling at her. I liked her. "Anika in this case I need to ask you though. Did you drink or smoke in the last lets say three months?" Anika shook her head. She didn't smoke anyway and barely drank generally and since she knew she was quite open to having children she gave up completely. "Good girl." She asked Anika to open her jeans and tucked some paper towels around the hem of the jeans. 

 

Anika nearly jumped of the table when the gel for the ultrasound hit her skin.

 

"Oh dear! I should have mentioned this."

 

"You bladder is nice and full so we should be able to get a good look." she turned on the machine and grabed the ultrasound head. "Lets find that baby of yours." she maneuvred the device over her belly for a while. All I could see was odd grey matter on the screen but all of a sudden there was a bean shaped black spot that came into view. "Oh here we go!" She stayed on that spot and pushed the head into Anika's belly little further and tilted it in all kinds of directions and suddenly there it was.

 

"Oh wow!" Anika and I said in unison. There it was. Over the years I had seen a lot of ultrasound images to be able to tell what I was looking at. So many times i had wished these images were of my child but so many years this dream did not come true but here it was. I started welling up and Anika took my hand. I kept staring at the screen absolutely mesmerised by the sight in front of me. From the corner of my eye I saw the doctor hit the button and all of a sudden the room was filled with this beautiful noise that was our baby's heartbeat.

 

"Nice and strong. Perfect." I broke down crying and it didn't take Anika long to follow. I stood up and hugged her.

 

"Thank you!" I told her and kissed her. I sat back down and held Anikas ha d for dear live as the doctor continued the scan taking some measurements.

 

"Baby looks healthy and measurements show me that you are about 11 weeks along which also adds up roughly with the date of yourast period." She wiped Anika's belly off and Anika sat up. Another few things had to be sorted and discussed and then we were sent on our way. We went straight to. The house of Anika's parents were I knew also mine were anxiously waiting to see us.


	26. Chapter 26

We had been back to the UK for a few weeks now and things were going well. Anika was 16 weeks pregnant and we had been told her due date was 29th April 2017. It was mid November and a few events were coming up such as Children in Need in which I was involved a lot this year. We had so far managed to keep a low profile since we returned and Karon had told us no pictures had been released of us since our return. We had no idea how we managed to dodge the paparazzi considering we were living our daily lives as normal. So things were really going well.

 

I visited the neonatal was at Great Ormond Street Hospital along with a BBC camera man and a crew for some footage on the evening of the charity event. It was heart breaking and I prayed our baby would never end up here but I was sure that if something was to happen it would be in good hands here. I talked to a young mother who was caring for her son who was born 3 months pre-maturely a few days ago. He was tiny and fragile and the love for her son moved me to tears. 

The next also met a group of elderly ladies in Cambridge who seemed quite smitten with me. The amount of biscuits I ate with them was ridiculous. 

 

I took Anika along and the ladies could clearly tell she was expecting. The work these ladies did was beautiful. They first of all insisted Anika joined them in their group and give them a hand. 

 

For the neo-natal ward at the local hospital in Cambridge they made small quilts that nicely fitted into the bottom of an incubator that babies would be placed in. They had told me that quite often they received thank-you letters from the parents even if their baby didn't make it. The one thing they were allowed to take home was this quilt as a memory of their baby. 

 

They also showed me pictures of babies they had received that looked quite well and healthy in the circumstances they entered the world and often these quilts had become objects for some serious chewing action. Anika was moved to tears at the sight of these pictures.

 

I was quite surprised to see that Anika did quite a good job giving these lovely ladies a hand with their needle work. As we got up eventually to take our leave - the cameras had filmed the entire time - one of the ladies disappeares from the room to return with a beautiful green quilt. She unfolded it and it was clearly a lot larger and had the size of a baby blanket. She gestured me to come closer.

 

"Wonderful work!" The other ladies got up and smiled.

 

"This is for you two." The lady told us.

 

"Oh no! We can't take this." Anika said in shock. I knew she wasn't trying to be rude but I knew she thought the same as I did, other children would need it more. But the ladies wouldn't hear any of this.

 

"No, we insist." said a few in unison. Anika was moved to tears again and hugged every single one of them. It was a beautiful gesture and I as well was moved to tears. I set myself a mental note to make a anonymous donation to them later tonight. I had of course raised funds already for the charity event itself but this cause also deserved special attention. 

 

Anika held onto that quilt the whole time as we drove back to London. The camera man had asked her as well whether she was ok if they left her in the footage and she told him it was ok as it was about time I was seen with her. 

 

A few days later we arrived at the studios for the charity event and Anika and I received a serious amount of attention. I could tell cameras were particularily pointing at her belly. She was starting to show quite a bit and as people had already been guessing for weeks now and we had not yet released an official statement I knew they were keen to find out whether rumours were true. 

 

We had talked to Karon and we agreed that this was a good opportunity to show ourselves in public for the first time since the wedding. This was in fact our first public event. Before we got married, Anika had attended as many events as possible but wasn't keen to meet the press so always made her way into an event through a side entrance. But she told me that if we wanted to keep the press at bay we should at least once show up in public together to give them what they wanted. And she told me she was proud to be there to openly support me as my wife which moved me to tears when she told me.

 

We waved for a few pictures while I protectively wrapped my arm around her. A lot of the photophers shouted their congratulations and we smiled in return and said our thank yous. At the request to kiss, I just placed a kiss on her temple quickly. 

 

There are things that did my heading when it came to these people and this was one of them. I hated when they told you to jump and you just asked how high. There were boundaries and certainly a lot of these people which I knew covered for the tabloids which all of them I hated had reached their limits. I kept it together, smiled and waved and we made our way inside the venue. Anika let out a sigh of relief.

 

"Gosh these people were annoying!" I looked at her in surprise.

 

"You kept your act together very well." She smiled at me and I placed my hand on her belly and kissed her. A clap on my shoulder made me jump.

 

"How are you doing guys?" It was Amanda and Martin. We had seen a lot of them lately and I enjoyed it. 

 

"Great! How are you both?"

 

"Excellent!"

 

The Friday after I was on the Graham Norton show. It was great to be here every time. By the end of the talk with everyone on the sofa he asked what I had been expecting the entire time throught the interview. They showed the picture that had been released a day after our wedding. It was agreed with me that it was ok to show it.

 

"So in case some of you don't know yet this man over here did get married recently. When was the big day?"

 

"8th October"

 

"Ben, congratulations to you and your wife Anika."

 

"Thank you very much."

 

"So are rumours true that she is that Germany supporter you kissed during the World Cup final?"

 

"Yes indeed!" I laughed.

 

"Was that when you first met?" I had to laugh.

 

"No no! I met her when I was visiting my friend and colleague Daniel Brühl in Germany. That incident was much much later."

 

"So am I right in guessing that the wedding took place in Germany?"

 

"Yes!"

 

"And you did your vows in German?" 

 

"I did."

 

"Are you sure it was wedding vows you read out not something else?" 

 

"I do actually speak German. So yes I am sure." 

 

"Really!?!"

 

"Well, ein ganz kleines bisschen." I laughed.

 

"Great! Just so you can proof it, here is a poem of dear old Mr Goethe." He handed me a piece of paper and I laughed. "Go ahead." Wow, I was not prepared for that.

 

"I know this one. Anika had to recite this in school and she hated it." I cleared my throat. "Wer reitet so spät durch Nacht und Wind? Es ist der Vater mit seinem Kind; Er hat den Knaben wohl in dem Arm, Er fasst ihn sicher, er hält ihn warm." Woah! That was exhausting. I took the paper tore it to pieces and threw it in the air. "Now I get why she hated it." I received a lot of cheers from the audience.

 

"So Ben! One last question."

 

"Thank you!" Everyone laughed.

 

"Is it true you and Anika are expecting your first child?" There were some squeals coming from the audience. Even if I would have wanted to deny it my face lit up with joy. 

 

"Yes we are having a baby in spring!" The noise in the audience was ear shattering. 

 

Well it was now official. Anika and I had agreed that if they asked I would tell them.


End file.
